Here Comes the Weekend!

I am bracing for the weekend; it's going to be a busy one and it starts TONIGHT!! Yeah!!

Wow! I'm Getting More Domestic!

OK! I got home tonight and actually fixed dinner for myself! I think that's twice now in one month. A real record! I cooked steak and mashed potatoes. I know, it's hardly a gourmet meal and in fact, I have to confess...I used instant potatoes from a package. But, all things considered it's still a pretty big deal because I rarely cook for myself anymore. So, I'm sure it says something. I'm just not sure exactly what!!!

The best part is that I actually prepared three small steaks, so I'll have one for breakfast in the AM! And...the other will be dinner tomorrow night. Yep!!! How cool is that?

I am probably going to stop after work tomorrow night and pick up a few things from the grocery store. It's Jessica's birthday this weekend and I'm watching Chloe Saturday night! I am so looking forward to having my little pumpkin with me this weekend! Last time she stayed with me, she climbed in bed next to me, held my hand...with her sweet little hand, and said, "I love you Mimi!" Oh, my goodness! I melted! I can't wait to snuggle with this little darling Saturday night.

The weather was crazy here today. But, I made it to work this morning safely!! I did take advantage of the liberal leave policy to get there about an hour later than usual. I shuffled through the street to get to the Metro...carefully maneuvering the ice and slush. The temperature is dropping again tonight so we can expect more of the same mess tomorrow. The only difference is that I have an 8AM meeting, so I've got to get out of here on time. I'll be sure to wear flat shoes and be ever so careful.

Walking in Circles...

Have you ever simply walked around in circles? That's what I'm doing. I just can't seem to figure out what to do...and where to start.

I wish my life would just spin around like a whirlwind...and settle down with everything magically in place.

On My Way...

Out the door now to brave the COLD! Is it really going to snow today??? Brrrr-gggg-hhhh!!!!

Gooood Morning!!!

I'm finishing up my coffee and have been watching a little TV this morning. Did the same thing last night. Yep, you've got it...I stayed home on a Saturday night. I'm pretty sure that's nearly a first for me. But it sure was nice. My friends and family are right, I need to try to slow things down a bit. There's no need to race through life as I have been. It's great to have some "down time." And, I'm going to try to allow myself that simple pleasure once in a while.

Yesterday I made it to metal class in the morning. I worked on the concept for my next sculpture. I started by digging through Hugh's scrap metal pile and found a really neat piece of stainless that will be perfect for the main element in my design.

Then I started constructing my concept in cardboard to get my idea worked out before I touch a tool to the metal. It's a lot better to make mistakes in cardboard first; scrap metal is too precious to waste. I want to be sure I don't ruin this big piece of stainless, because it's perfect for my design.

I got my idea together and Hugh and I looked at from various angles. We bounced around some ideas and I made some subtle changes. The main piece will be a perforated square that I will score diagonally and bend it. Then I'll weld it to the base, standing on it's end...by the point.

I decided it will make a better design to have it leaning slightly, than my original concept of mounting it perpendicular with a right angle to the base. It was interesting to see how that small adjustment in the main element, made a big difference in the design.

There will also be several long blade like pieces of metal, bent slightly and welded to the base metal, each standing upright on end. That will give it an organic quality...which will contrast well with the geometric design of the main piece.

I'm not sure what I'm going for...but it just feels right. It does remind me a bit of a ship's sail and blades of grass. So, who knows, perhaps the title will be Sail and Surf...something like that. I'll just have to wait and see how it evolves.

Once I had the main pieces assembled in cardboard, Hugh said, "Wow, that's gonna be cool!" And, then he commented that he thinks he would like to get back into abstract design too. That's how the two of us work together. The artistic energy between us is special!

Next Saturday, I hope to finally learn how to use the plasma cutter...to square up that large scrap of perforated stainless. Mastering that will add one more technique to my portfolio of skills.

While working on my design, Hugh was using the grinder on his piece. Suddenly, he put it down and came over holding up his finger, "See, this is why I remind you to be careful." The grinder had "bit" him and he was sporting a very deep gouge in his pointer finger. Amazingly, it hadn't started bleeding yet, but it was a bit gruesome to look at.

"Oh, Hugh," I said, "You need to take care of that right away!" I suggested he go in and dowse it with peroxide and bandage it tightly. I know he is taking blood thinners...and I was afraid in a moment it would start spouting like a fountain! He was going to keep on working, but surprisingly he listened to me, "You know, I think you are right." And he set off for the house. In a few minutes, he was back out, all patched up and using the grinder again. But, I'll bet today...he knows EXACTLY where his throbbing finger is!!!

It reminded me once again to continue to be extraordinarily careful when I'm working in the shop. These tools can grab you in a heartbeat if you're careless. For me, so far, so good! I am extremely careful!!!

The rest of today, I plan to get ready for the work week. I've got laundry to do, sheets to wash, errands to run. Later this evening I am meeting a gentleman in Old Town for drinks. That should be a nice way to wrap up the weekend. I'm looking forward to it!

What a Discovery!

Today I was digging through the hall closet. I'm getting ready to list my house and trying to get everything ready so I can start showing it.

I pulled several coats from the closet so that it won't be packed so full. And, I ran across Kenny's Polartec jacket. It's the dark blue and black one that he wore all the time. I held it for a moment, then laid it on the stairs so I could take it up and put it in my suitcase. As sappy and sentimental as I am, there is no way I will ever get rid of that jacket. No way!!

Later this evening, I got a little chilly, so I grabbed that jacket from the stairs and put it on. My...what a comforting feeling to wrap myself in it. I stuck my hands in the pockets...and discovered they were still filled with some of his things. I found the spare key to his Dodge Magnum. I suppose it's the key he used when he drove back to Maryland in May 2007. And I also found his orange John's Hopkins card...it's like a charge card with his name and hospital ID number embossed on it. They isse these cards to patients who are "frequent fliers" so that they may gain quick entry to the hospital without going through all the crazy registration and paperwork. I had wondered when I sifted through his wallet last year, where that card had gotten to. Finally...the mystery is solved.

I also found three gas receipts from Sunbury, Ontario in Canada. They are dated May 2007, from the fishing trip Kenny and Kyle took two months before he died. He had returned from that trip and went right into the hospital for a while.

I also found his Air Tran boarding passes dated June 14, 2007. Ken got out of the hospital and flew home for the weekend. We celebrated Father's Day and Mom's birthday here with Mom and Dad. It's the last time we were all together.

Yes, I started to cry. Just a little, just a little. And I'm still sitting here wearing his jacket while I'm typing this blog. Of course, I'm keeping those receipts. I will give them to Kyle. They even have Kenny's signature on them. I know my Kyle will want to keep them as a memento of a very special fishing trip with his Dad. Oh my...this is still not easy...

Oh What a Day...

Sometimes you have to be hit in the head with a challenge...to prompt ya to make the right decision. I had been struggling with whether to keep my cute little car or Kenny's... So, low and behold, when I got back here, the next morning after I got the battery charged, I took my Roadster out for a spin. The fun of driving it, had me thinking about keeping my car and getting rid of his. Well...that was Friday! But, not any more!

Last night when I pulled that little car into the garage, I discovered one of my tires had gone flat!!! I mean completely flat, flat, flat!!! Good Grief! So this morning, Karen and I went out to change the tire. It's been a very long time since I've done that...in fact, probably not since the seventies. But, I figured between the two of us smart chicks...surely we could figure it out. So, I grabbed my owner's manual and we went out to the garage to tackle it.

Well, thankfully Karen and I both have a pretty good sense of humor! Because, I popped the trunk, lifted the mat and...hmmmmm..."Karen, where's the spare?" That's odd, we couldn't find a spare tire anywhere. I even looked underneath the back of it, thinking...well maybe it's up under there some where. Hmmmmm. "Karen, do you supposed it's behind the seat?" I asked. Then the funniest part is Karen noticed the battery in the trunk and she said, "Well, what do you suppose is up front then?" In a minute, we busted out laughing when we realized what a ridiculous question it was!!! Of course the engine is up there!!!

So for a few minutes we muddled around, until we finally checked the manual, and discovered my car does not have a spare!! It has "run flat" tires. Well that's just fine and dandy...unless the tire goes completely flat. Then what are you supposed to do?

I checked in the basement, perhaps Kenny and I had put a spare tire in there. No of course not. No tire to be seen. So...it was a trip to the tire store for us. But they didn't have any tires like the one I needed. And..now for the brutal part. I could order one..but it wouldn't come in until Tuesday and the darn thing will cost me $250!!!! Oh, My God!!! Who knew???

After a little back and forth...I called BMW roadside service, to find out that I'm just 5,000 miles beyond my warranty. Another lesson for me... Well, it's finally "no brainer." Yes, I've ordered a new tire at the $250 a pop! But...this cute little car is history. Time to sell it. I don't need a car in Washington that doesn't have a spare...etc. And I don't need this kind of hassle. It was cute and fun while it lasted. Sometimes decisions are made the hard way. But this certainly has given me clarity. I know what I'm gonna do!!! It's history!!

My home, my home...

Well I'm back in my home and just as I imagined the days are flying by! I've been so busy catching up with people and getting little errands done that the time is moving at a fast clip. The thought that it's already Sunday and I only have a few more days here is weighing heavily on my shoulders.

This could not be a more tortuous situation. I will have to give up this place eventually and I don't know that I'll ever be able to recreate it again! It's comfortable and happy and of all the places I've ever lived...it feels like it's mine!! My home, my home!!!

I'm starting my day, sittig here whistling along to my favorite radio show, Acoustic Sunrise. My fuzzy slippers are on my feet and I've started a fire in the fireplace. It puts off just enough warmth to get rid of the misty chill of morning. I'm here, just me and my cup of coffee. The only thing missing is Kenny sitting next to me contemplating the day. It's the little things that make this widow's world so lonely...

Life is sure puzzling. And, I have to admit my friends and neighbors here tug at my heart everytime I come back. And...I get the same thing up North as well, friends who beg me to stay. So why can't I just live in two places? Isn't there some way that could all work out?

I'm thankful that I have been blessed to be up North, surrounded by my family and life long friends. It has sure helped me work my way through my grief. But it's also added a significant stress and complication to my life that's hard to describe. I've been carrying this burden with me...just below the surface, month after month. It's one of those decisions that I've been pushing off...because it's been too hard to face. But...I know I've reached the turning point and I am finally going to have to get moving and get my life settled!!

The day I got here, I opened the door to Kenny's closet...spent a pausing moment looking around from shelf to rack. Then simply closed the door. Still after a year and a half, I can't face the thought of going through it and getting rid of his things. I know that probably seems like a long time to other people and I can hear it now. "Oh, I'm worried about her, she's still not moving on, by now she shouldn't be having such trouble." But I just can't do it yet. Not sure when I'll be able to face this gut wrenching chore. Perhaps I'll even need a little help on it...

Yesterday I talked with my friend Leslie from Sacramento. She is a widow too and lost her husband a few months after Ken died. She still hasn't gone through Bob's clothes either. Hearing that, sure made me feel that I'm normal. Well...relatively so. (: You know what I mean!!

My Giddy-up and Go...Gotty-up and left...without me...

Boy oh boy! All I want to do this morning is climb back into my bed. Perhaps it's the cold...or it might just be the typical "after the Holidays slump." I don't quite know, but I sure am tired...more like exhausted!!! When I arrive down south...I may spend the weekend hibernating!!! Yep!!! Sounds like a great idea!!! Now here I go...I'm PUSHING myself out the door for work!!! Got to get it all done today 'cause I'm hopping on a plane in the morning.

Welcome to the World...Mary Grace!!!

I just got word that Kenny's niece Teri, had a baby today. Her name is Mary Grace and this calls for a BIG celebration. It's Teri's second child...Bryce now has a sister. I am so happy for Teri...she has wanted children her entire life. And how lucky to have a boy AND a girl!! Mary Grace is a fitting name for this little one! Oh...and here's the best part...she was born on her Grandpa's birthday! Yep, today is Dick's birthday. What a perfect, perfect gift!!! Congrats Teri, Jimmy and little Bryce!!! Oh Man...Kenny...I know you are just beaming up there in Heaven!!!

Another Long Day...

I am just now done working!!! Had a Blackberry issue to solve; took all afternoon...just got off the phone and am finally DONE! In more ways than one!!! Gonna go eat...and then hit the sack. Got another busy today tomorrow and I'm headed south Thursday morning!!! This whirlwind life of mine...makes me exhausted...

Boy I'm Tired!!

Why did today feel like Friday? Boy, I have no idea, but I'm sure tired and I hate starting out the week like this. In fact, I got home from work and changed right into my PJ's. Just had to do it. So..Jazzy Boy and I are hanging out. I'm going to get ready in a minute and tackle the pile of papers on my desk. I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time keeping up with everything...but I am. I just am!!!

Metal Work Is Cancelled Tomorrow

Darn!! No metal work tomorrow. Hugh is still getting over a bad cold and he says it's brutally cold out there in the mornings. And...it's supposed to be rainy tomorrow too, so we've canceled it. On the other hand...it will be nice to sleep in tomorrow. That's a rare treat for me. That just means, however that it will be another two weeks before I get to do any metal work. Next weekend I will be back down south for a few days.

The week flew by...and it was also long and tiring. I know that makes little sense, but it's how it felt. I've got a pretty busy weekend planned. In the AM...I have to pay some bills!! Ugh!!! Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to help Carla do some calligraphy on wedding invitations for a friend. Tomorrow evening I'm headed to Gene and Priscilla's for an "after" New Years celebration. Sunday afternoon I'm meeting a friend for coffee...and Sunday late afternoon I'm joining another friend for a trip to the Smithsonian. Boy...it makes me tired just thinking about it!

Some Inspiration for Your Day!!!

This is one of the songs my friend mailed me from Chicago! What a great one! I hope it revs you up to a high note!!! Blessings...

Another Surprise!!

I LOVE packages! I got home tonight and I had a message that one had arrived for me today. It was from a friend of mine who lives in Chicago. He sent me a bunch of CD's that he had put together!! How cool is that? I'm sitting here now listening to each and every song...in order. Five CD's in all...I wonder if I can get through them all tonight??

This is such a delight for me because, for one...I LOVE music, all kinds and so does he. So it's a great compilation of artists and songs. Goodness! And the other part is that it is such a nice gift. I know it must have taken him hours to put the discs together and label each one so neatly. How thoughtful!!!

And here's another twist of the day! I am ACTUALLY cooking for myself tonight!!!! That is so rare...I seldom cook anymore. EVER!! It's just hard to get psyched about cooking for only me!

But, I can't explain what came over me this evening...something compelled me to be domestic tonight. Perhaps it was HUNGER! Yeah, that might be it!! I was starving!!! It's also funny because I have so few kitchen accessories and equipment here...that I had to just wrap up my chicken breast in some foil and throw it in the oven. I didn't even have a metal pan to put it in. Thank goodness I'm so-o resourceful!!

Oh and for crying out loud, when I checked on my chicken, the smoke detector started screaming at me. I had to run into the bedroom and grab my little step stool, bring it out...climb up on it...and wave a magazine in front of the little sreaming monster to get it to quiet down. Phew! A little cooking drama at my place!!! Oh my, now I'm completely frazzled!!! LOL! I'm going to go grab my glass of wine...and my little plate of home-cooked food...kick up my feet and relax and enjoy!!! Oh yeah!!!

No Ice Skating Tonight...SHOOT!!!

It's raining again so it's not a good night to go ice skating. Besides Melissa had to go home today. I don't have a computer here...except for the one I carry back and forth to work each day. And she needed to update her resume so she went back to her parents' house to get that done.

While I was at work this week, she tried for two days to find a library. But each time she went out, she got lost and never did find a place with a computer. So...she called me at work today and said she was heading back to her parent's house in Delaware. Boo Hoo! I miss her already!!

I got home tonight knowing I would step foot into an empty apartment again. Sorry Jazz you don't quite count...I need real conversation. I know you try Jazzy Boy, but it's just not the same.

At any rate, it sure had been nice to have Melissa here for two days to greet me!! The cool thing is that when I got in the door tonight, I found a pleasant surprise. There on the bathroom mirror was a colorful, handmade message...."You are gorgeous girlfriend!" And she left me a very sweet note in the kitchen. One line of it says,
"You deserve an F- - - ing phone call!" Funny, funny, funny!

And I know she is right. After all the interesting experiences I've had in this new dating world, I may just have to start a new blog...something like Dating after 50! I have some funny and ridiculous stories to tell. And I have a feeling it would be a real hit...at least with women who can really relate. At any rate, yes Melissa...I know I deserve a phone call and should not have to wait three weeks...or three days to hear from someone. So...another note to self!!! Check!! Got it!!!

I was under the crazy impression that we had moved beyond the old male dominated rules...you know...girls can't call guys...girls can't make the first move...blah, blah, blah. I thought men these days were bigger and more secure than that.

But, what I've learned already...quite to my surprise...is that it still boils down to the old hunter gatherer syndrome. You know the picture of the caveman dragging the girl by the hair? Yep! That's about it! Women still have to pretend that the men are in charge. It's still about the chase and the conquering. We have to play the game of acting "hard to get."

Oh boy! I can just see it now. I'm gonna have to practice batting my eyes...and being all coquettish...etc. Whether I like it or not...that's just the way it is! And it reminds me of months ago when a guy friend said...it would take a really confident man to date me. At first I didn't get what he meant, but now I do. It basically means men, regardless of what they say, are intimidated by women who are confident, self sufficient and can take care of themselves. That's why the dumb blonde routine works so well!!! In reality, Marilyn was not so dumb. She just knew how to play the game...

Melissa Is Here!!! YEAH!!!

I know, I know, I know...I need to update my blog more often!!! But, I've been really busy. Melissa is here! I got home from Puerto Rico Saturday and Melissa arrived at my house on Sunday. In fact she went with me to Kenny's Mom's Sunday and Kyle, Jess and Chloe joined us too and we FINALLY got to exchange our Christmas presents. How fun!

We also ordered Chinese and spent the evening together laughing at my little Chloe. After a few hours Melissa and I packed up Jazzy B and made our way home. Ferne had watched Jazz while I was away for New Years. And he was very anxious to get home.

It's been great having Melissa here this week. She is the daughter of my friend Pat...and well she is so much like me it's crazy!!! I really can't believe it and I also can't believe she is more than twice as young as me. It really doesn't feel like it, but it's true.

We are having so much fun together. We are sitting here now, curled up on my bed...both in our PJ's, watching TV together. And Jazz is watching TV too!!

Tonight we picked up the Sex and the City movie. Can you believe I've never seen it? Melissa swears I will want to watch it at least ten times! She's probably right. I also picked up that book, "He's Just Not That Into You!" I am sure I can use a few lessons from there as well. Honestly dating at this stage in my life really stinks. And you would think that after having spent my entire life in a house full of men...I would understand them by now. Well I don't!! Not in the least!!! So...I still have a lot to learn. Perhaps the book will help!

I am really giving Melissa a taste of the City. We hopped on the metro tonight and after our first stop at the bookstore in Pentagon City, we went to Chevy's and had chicken tortilla soup and margaritas.

I think the waiter had a little crush on Melissa. His name was Vladmir and he is from Bulgaria. We both thought he was from Russia...you know the one you can see from Alaska. As it turns out...neither Melissa nor I knew where in the World Bulgaria is located!! Funny! I told you she's a lot like me!!! OK, we didn't do so well with our Geography...come to think of it...we may have cheated on Math too. But...dag...we both know our ART!!!! Ha, ha, ha!! And we are both hot for fashion too! In fact, yesterday we even bought the same exact jacket!!! Here's a photo of us in our jackets. She's the one with the much bigger bust line!!!

If the weather is not too bad tomorrow, Melissa and I are going ice skating after I get home from work. Hopefully, I won't break anything. Then Friday night we are going dancing at the revolving restaurant in the Doubletree Hotel. Finally!!! I've been wanting to go there for months and have never had a chance. So...Friday it is. They say you can see all of the city of Washington from the restaurant and it's supposedly a real "happening" place. I can't wait!!! Look out here we come!!!

Boo Hoo!!! My Last Night In Paradise...

I am waiting for everyone to get ready. We are going out to dinner down by the docks, at a Tappas restaurant. It's my last night here and I can't believe by tomorrow evening, da, dah, dah daaahhhh...I will be back to REALITY!!! And...COLD!!!!! Ugh!!! But at least I will be sporting a tan! Do you think I can wear shorts and a halter top so I can show it off these tan lines??!!! Ha!!! I don't suppose so!!! That would be a bit crazy in thirty-something degree weather!!!

It has been a great week here with my dear friends. There were ten of us together all week...and only three of us are the "old folks." Surprisingly everyone got along very well. No surprises, no problems whatsoever! That's quite a feat for so many different personalities all smushed together day after day.

And for example of the challenges, there were times when we were all jumping in and out of the showers getting ready to go out...and some of us got stuck with cold water!!! But no less...it was fun, fun, fun!!!

And now I sure hate to go home to my empty apartment. I don't enjoy talking to myself...even though Jazz does respond occasionally, but it's just not the same as having some adult conversation and LAUGHTER!!! Oh well, such are the challenges of life!!

Well here I go...I'm shutting down the computer now to dash out the door for dinner! I will get back to you once I get back to the states!!

It's a New Year...

I am quickly updating this because we are getting ready to go to the beach club this morning. And, I hear the weather back in the mainland is COLD...so I plan to soak up one more day of sun before I leave. Tomorrow I head to the airport at 7AM and it will soon be BACK TO REALITY!!! I'm bracing my self for a SHOCKING return to the senses!!


We are sitting here this morning in the kitchen of our rental unit. Bryan and Stacey are cooking breakfast...Genevieve is reading...Priscilla is looking at my photos on her computer...and I am here typing of course on Gretchen Christina's laptop.

The patio door is open to the outside...
there is a full glass wall of doors that we just slide right open. No screens necessary here! As I type, I am looking right out on the pool and the palm trees.

Oh my goodness!!! How does a person actually get to LIVE like this??? Don't tell me by working hard...I've already done that!!! But at any rate...this definitely is paradise.

We may still go to the phosphorescent lagoon this evening to see the glowing fish and organisms. That should be interesting!!! Then we are going out to dinner together. It will be our last hurrah!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

I've been a bit computer deprived while here in Puerto Rico. Finally this evening Priscilla's niece arrived with her laptop and aircard...so I'm temporarily back in business!!

We celebrated New Year's Eve last night by first having dinner together in the condo here at Palmas del Mar. We enjoyed a traditional Puerto Rican meal of pork, risotto with pigeon peas, fried plantains and other stuff that I can't remember how to pronounce. It was delightful!

And...needless to say, I'm still struggling to avoid eating too much. It's very hard to push away food that is so delicious.

Later we got all decked out and went off to the club for the New Year's celebration. Priscilla's sister Gretchen, her niece Gretchen Christina and her mother joined us there. We danced, we laughed and we drank too much champagne. But it sure was fun!!!

This morning, Priscilla and I started our first day of the new year enjoying coffee and toast sitting out back by the pool. And yes...I was wearing my cheetah pajamas!!!

Then we threw on our clothes and went for a long walk. We ended up at the beach and watched the pelicans dive into the ocean. It is beautiful...so beautiful here!!! After a while we headed back and by then it was getting hot.

When we got back to the condo the kids were finally awake and we decided to go to the beach club. Well...not all of us...Gene, Bryan and Daniel went off to play a few rounds of golf. But the rest of us spent the day at the club which is too amazing to even describe!!! Hopefully this photo will give you a glimpse of how beautiful it is.

After several hours in the pool and sun, we grabbed lunch there too! It was more fried food of course!! But...oh so delicious!!!

It was a nearly perfect day to start the New Year. And now...they are all playing Family Feud and trying to convince me to shut down this computer and join the "girls team." I suppose I'll do it!!! Fun, fun, fun!!!