Wow! I can't believe it's been four months since I've blogged. It feels more like four years! Time is ticking by so quickly yet at times it still feels as if my life is simply standing still. So where have I been? Well frankly who knows, but I've sure been busy!!!
For a while I had even thought this "widow's thing" was wearing a little thin. But, in reality...I'm still a widow!!! So, everything I do is clouded through those lenses.
Can't help it...that's just the way it is!!!
So...I just got back from a long weekend down south. I've got my house on the market and although I really think it "shows" beautifully, I can always find a few more things to whip into shape. I flew down on Thursday, took Friday off...Monday and part of today. It was a nice long weekend and I was in constant motion the entire time.
I FINALLY tackled something I've been putting off for a long time...Kenny's closet. It's been nearly two years and this is the first time I could face it. Boy, oh boy, what a gut-wrenching experience. I opened the door and that closet just screamed out KENNY! All those shirts...and pants and suits and shoes. Every one of them brought back a memory and a place in time. I blubbered my way through it and bagged things up to haul them away. I kept a few shirts that I simply could not part with..like the sweatshirt with the big ole bass on the front and the blue plaid flannel that he wore so often.
A few cherished items are now neatly folded and tucked away in a plastic storage bin including his two pairs of dress shoes and three special neckties. I will keep them until...who knows when. I just couldn't part with them. No way!
I hauled away two van loads of clothes and household goods to the local woman's shelter. Thank goodness my neighbor Jen was there to go with me. Because it was a killer task!!!
While there I also rearranged my bedroom furniture. And I had to charge my car battery again. I also hung a curtain rod and sheers behind my bed, cleaned out the linen closet, organized the basement, hauled the two van loads of things to the thrift shop, hauled two more van loads to the dump, patched some hairline cracks in the basement floor, power washed my patio and hung a few mirrors and pictures upstairs. On top of that I washed the sheets on the beds, took a bunch of magazines to the hair salon, swept all the floors, cleaned the bathrooms, made a few flower arrangements, planted flowers in the pots on the deck and just generally tidied up the place.
All in all, it was a VERY busy weekend!! And I even got to spend some precious time with Conda, and Jennifer, and Rhonda, my dearest Georgia Peaches!!! Other than that, I was on the go the entire time and pushed myself to keep on moving. Man...I'm exhausted and now and it's back to my crazy job tomorrow with a whole lot of catching up to do!!!
So what else have I been doing? Well, for a while I tried the on-line dating scene, and that was a huge disappointment. I've had coffee or drinks with nearly every Tom, Dick and Harry in the Washington area...and frankly...excuse me for sounding so harsh, but they were mostly DICKS!!! The last time I had dated was back when I was nineteen, and times were so innocent and simple then. The guys were honest, predictable and steadfast. Sadly, that's not what I've just experienced in this "older" dating world. And it sure proves my theory..."most of the good guys are married" or otherwise taken...
So...for the time being, I've sworn off dating. I just don't need the aggravation. Well...except that I still do occasionally see a couple guys who are actually more like dear friends and confidants. They don't appear to be too serious about the dating thing either...so I don't hear from them very often. But at least I know they are there and they are normal and nice!! So after all, who knows what life will bring. Who really knows...
Other than that I've taken a stab at house hunting and have pretty much sworn off that too, at least until my house down south sells. There's little point in looking here and being disappointed when I find a house that I love...and can't purchase it.
The latest news...and most important, is that I've FINALLY been offered a permanent position back in Washington. So...I will move out of my temporary quarters here the second week in June and I'll move in with my sister Lisa until my house sells. That will give me a chance to "test" the commute from Leesburg to Washington to see if I can hack that long commute.
Where I will FINALLY settle down...who knows!! I'm looking for a town that has a bit of an art scene. And so I may even end up in Annapolis or the Eastern Shore near Lib in Chestertown. I long for that small town charm. And, I plan to keep working at my metal sculpture, so I'd like to find a place where I can retire some day and sell my artwork. My metal apprenticeship continues to be one of the saving graces of this time of my life. Not sure what I would do without it or my buddy Hugh!!! It's been a life changing experience!
I have to admit, I'll sure be glad when this limbo phase is over. I want to be settled and have a place to call home. I'm not really sure where home is anymore! But I long for that familiar, comfortable place and look forward to being surrounded once again with all my lifetime memories, the treasures that Kenny and I collected over thirty one years! Hmmmm, what a sweet thought! Now that's something to look forward to!!!
