Snoqualmie Falls

Seattle is awesome! Dan and I joined up at Seatac airport a little after noon today. We picked up the car, checked into the hotel and hit the road to find Snoqualmie Falls. It was just a short distance, about 30 minutes or so north from the hotel and was well worth the drive.

First we stopped at the overlook and took in the breathtaking birds-eye view of this impressive waterfall. Thank goodness I had changed into my tennis shoes before leaving the hotel, because we we walked down the winding river trail all the way to the bottom of the gorge for another view of the falls. It was rocky, steep and wet with the misty over spray. And Cold! It's quite different here from the sizzling weather I just left back East.

The trail to the riverside is dark and mystical. It's lushly lined with tall ferns and huge old moss-draped Cedars and Douglas Firs. And the Rhododendrons are in bloom. Several large spectacular displays of dusty pink and hot scarlet jumped out at us as we passed by the visitor center.

The two of us snapped photos here and there along the way and when we reached the bottom of the gorge, we stood there for quite a while just taking in the scene and the sound of it. Boy, the walk back up was a real huffer puffer; we were glad when we finally reached the top by the visitor center again. By the time we did, Dan and I were pretty hungry because we hadn't bothered to stop for lunch all day. We decided it was finally time to grab something to eat. But unfortunately the restaurant next to the falls was hosting a wedding so it was closed to the public. That was too bad because we sure would have had an amazing view while we enjoyed our meal.

Instead we climbed into our car and headed back into the small town of Snoqualmie. It's a sweet little old town, right out of a picture book. The main street is lined with buildings on one side and a graveyard of old rusted train cars on the other...with the mountain as it's backdrop.

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We stumbled on a little Italian restaurant with authentic AND DELICIOUS food. I even had a nice glass of wine. And they seated us near the window, so we had an amazing view after all! Instead of a scene of the falls over dinner, we enjoyed the magnificence of that giant purplish blue peak of a mountain!

Finally Finished Packing for Seattle!

Now I'm trying to decide whether to go to bed or just stay up. I have to leave the house at 4:30 AM...that's only a few hours away. I think I will go take a two hour cat nap...if I can even get to sleep. I'm so excited.

This is a picture of Danny a few years ago. I know...yes he is...handsome!! Can't wait to see him.

"Dan-Dan the Movie Man" here I come!!!

Love you! MOM

There Have Been Angels In My Life...

While they haven't arrived with a blast of trumpets or a rustle of wings, I've known them just the same. They performed their acts in human guise, sometimes borrowing the faces of family and friends, sometimes posing as well-meaning strangers.

You have known them, too, when just the right word was needed, when a tiny act of kindness made a great difference...or perhaps you heard a voice whispering in the night of sorrow, the words not quite clear, but the meaning unmistakable...
"There is hope...There is hope".

-Author Unknown

Rushing Again!

I'll probably be constantly rushing around for the next several weeks as I prepare for the new assignment. I stopped and grabbed some dinner on the way home from work, then went for a manicure and pedicure. I know...it should not be a priority right now...but it sure was nice!! You know, it's that girl-girl thing again.

Got home and went through some more mail. The battle of the junk mail is starting to get to me. I just can't seem to stay ahead of it all. And now I'm hauling things in from my office too, so I have little piles of stuff here, there and everywhere!

A little while ago I got a call from my neighbor Conda. Her husband is out of town and she wanted me to join her for dinner tomorrow night, but I've already got plans to go to a wine tasting dinner with friends from work. I felt bad turning her down; she is so nice. I'm just getting to know her, but what a cool neighbor she is. And her husband is very nice too. It sure gives me mixed emotions about my future decisions to be made...

My neighbors on both sides of me are like book-ends...they are both here to hold me up! Fabulous people...simply fabulous!! So if I ever decide to head home for good...perhaps I can take them and a half dozen other folks with me. I would want to take along all the people who have extended me a helping hand this year. And you know who you are!! H-m-m-m, that should be possible, I'll just pack every one of you up and take you along! Yep! Sounds like a plan!!

One More Thing...

I'm so excited! I just got an e-mail from an old High School friend. I signed up the other day on my high school alumni page and sure enough an old girlfriend, Debbie Joyce, contacted me. I used to date her brother Bill in high school. Debbie lives in Belleville, Illinois and has a son living here in GA. So, who knows maybe I'll get to see her. And with any luck she will be going to the reunion this summer back home. I will be there too, so I hope to see a bunch of old friends.

I also got an e-mail from my dear friend Mary. She is a widow too. Her husband Fred and Kenny were roomates when we met at 19. It was quite a shock to us when Fred died suddenly four and a half years ago...and now Kenny has joined him. So Mary and I are widows together. How strange. We will always have a special connection because of two very special guys. And well, I just hope those guys are laughing and hooping it up...in heaven. No doubt!!

Mary, just wrote a long note to me about all her escapades getting her bathroom remodeled. It's been a bit of a challenge. And then she told me a funny story about doing some car maintenance too. Yes...sorry to say...there are just some things that women are not cut out to do. Just as truly as there are others that men should steer clear from too! It's just the way it is... No, not a bra-burner here!!!! I like mine just fine thank you. And I also enjoy someone holding the door for me and telling me I'm beautiful. Yep, I've always been a girly girl!

I also just talked with my friend Marti. They are having a baby shower for her son and daughter in law. Unfortunately I won't be home in time to go, but I WILL be home when their baby is born!! Her son Graeme is Kyle's best friend...so of course Graeme feels just like one of my own. The baby's name is going to be Jack!! That was Kenny's favorite and he would have loved to have had a grandson named Jack. So...how appropriate. Graeme probably doesn't even know that yet, but I will be sure to tell him when I see him next!

One more thing...I just got off the phone with Dan. He is meeting me next week in Seattle. I have to go there for training and Seattle is just a few hours from LA. So, I am flying out early on Saturday and Dan is meeting me there. We plan to go to Mt. Rainier on Sunday. I am so exited about it and so is Dan. He will stay with me until Wednesday and then he has to get back to work. It was supposed to be a slow spell for him in June, but work is now picking right back up. I suppose that's a good thing. Dan has worked on so many movies this year...I'm very proud of him. The next to be released is Incredible Hulk. How INCREDIBLE that Dan got to do the special effects for a character that was a big deal when he was a just little boy! The movie comes out June 13th. Go see it, and be sure to stay long enough to see my Dan's name scroll up through the movie credits!! Yeah! Let's just say...I'm a very PROUD Mom!! I've got three of the best sons any Mom could have.
Yes Alex, Life is Good!

Start My Day in Prayer...

I should know by now that I must ALWAYS start my day in prayer! I did this morning and sure enough it went very, very well. I asked for guidance, a smooth day and continued direction for sorting out my life. Not surprisingly, today was much better than yesterday. It was a busy day, but bing, bing, bing, things went just like clockwork. I clicked off the tasks one by one. I got a hold of OKCity and got information on my final relocation reimbursements. Some of that was still outstanding... And some other things got cleared up as well. I also started cleaning out my office because someone will be using it while I'm on my temporary assignment. Got my air card and VPN ordered for my lap top. It should all be ready to go in a couple weeks.

One of the highlights of my day was when one of our secretaries came in to talk with me. She and I have connected over the last several weeks and I offerred to give her "Lucy's advice on career advancement." You see, what most people don't know today is that I started my federal career as a secretary. And with that experience...I have my own perspective on what it takes to move ahead. I also know what a difficult and thankless job it can be. Secretaries are often treated unfairly, they frequently serve several bosses...and each one expects to be considered their #1 priority. She and I sat and talked for quite a while and I told her what had worked well for me over the years to get ahead. She is just a dear. She has a great attitude, has worked her way through college and has even worked two jobs at times to be able to provide for herself and her son. I know with some encouragement and advice the world for her, is open to possibilities! Before she went back to her desk, I gave her the plaque off my wall. It has words to live by. I'm sure she will keep it always and remember me.


Painting below: After the Hurricane

At the end of the day, I was carrying my paintings out of my office, and several people stopped and commented on them. And it just continues to reinforce that I need to figure out how to make creativity a part of my life. I think I will start to pray on that too!


Yes all in all, today was a great day. So...guess how I plan to start my day tomorrow??

Too Tired...

Wow, it's one of those "too tired to blog" days. Can't quite put my finger on it, but it wasn't the greatest of days at work today. So much to do, so little time. Do you ever feel so tired that you just can't muster up any energy anymore? That's how I feel right now.

This grieving thing continues to be unpredictable and more difficult than one can imagine. When I got home from work I thought about Kenny and how he would be so sad that this has been so hard on me. He would never have wanted his death to have had such a negative impact...how sad. Somehow for his sake, I have to continue to push my way through it.

Memorial to Kenny: The Dance

Garth Brook's song The Dance was one of Kenny's favorites. I remember him listening it to it once...with tears gently falling from his eyes. Then suddenly he shook both fists above his head in a victory stance and shouted, "I'm the King!" Obviously the words to this song spoke to how he felt about his own life. That was just after his first...or was it his second liver transplant?? I do know for sure it was well before his third...

Over the years...we danced more than once to this beautiful song...And just like Kenny, I could have missed the pain but I'd a had to miss the dance.

Now click on the arrow in the screen below; you will want to hear Garth Brook's touching memorial rendition of The Dance.

Garth Brooks The Dance Musicvia Noolmusic.com

God Bless Our Fallen Soldiers

"The local church has this touching display of flags posted in their yard; one for every person in Leesburg who has died in Iraq," Lisa explained. My sister was driving by the church the other day when suddenly she saw a deranged man staggering through that field of flags. He was grabbing them, breaking the flagstaffs and throwing them on the ground. "I pulled over, slammed on my breaks and jumped out of my car," she said. "A utility worker had pulled over too and he was already dialing the police."

Lisa ran to try and distract that insensitive man. She was shouting loudly and waving her arms. "What are you doing? Stop it, what's wrong with you?" Just as she did, he turned and started towards her. He reached the utility worker first and shoved him hard in the chest. Pretty soon the two men were grappling with each other. Lisa continued to shout and did what she could to try and break up the fight. After several scary minutes, the police arrived and wrestled the crazed man to the ground. They handcuffed him and threw him into the squad car.

A woman came out of the church and they solemnly began picking up the broken flags. "Now I will have to order some new ones," the volunteer said. Each flagstaff had been engraved with the name of a fallen soldier and some were now broken in two. "It was so sad, I can't imagine what that man was thinking. He was dishonoring that memorial and every one of our soldiers," said Lisa.

As she talked my stomach began to churn as I thought about how she had put her own life in danger. "Lisa, you need to be more careful, you could have been seriously hurt or killed," I told her. But Lisa's reply was, "I don't care, I would do it all again if need be. Out of all those cars that were driving by, the only two who stopped were me and a utility worker. It's the least I could do for those who have bravely served," she said. "And if I had lost my life defending the honor of our troops, then at least it would have been worth it!"

Well said Lisa, well said...and I am proud of her. My sister's passion symbolizes what this country was built on, the pride and honor of all Americans. Thank God there are some who still believe this country and the freedom it represents is worth dying for. God Bless our fallen soldiers and their families on this special day of remembrance. Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Sunday

The fun started early this afternoon by joining Rhonda, her Mom and a new friend of hers Alan, for lunch at Ted's Montana Grill. It was a great lunch. We spent our time mostly talking about food and recipes. Alan likes to cook...and we like to eat...so it was delicious conversation! It was nice to get to know both Rhonda's mother and Alan. I had heard so much about them both. And, yes Rhonda...Alan is a keeper!!

After lunch, I stopped first at the grocery store then rushed home to make a couple of Kenny's famous tomato pies. I realize now what a labor of love those were for him. They are very time consuming.

A few years ago when I arrived home from work, he surprised me with a hot tomato pie fresh out of the oven. He had seen the recipe on Paula Dean's show and decided to try his hand at making one just for me. When I walked in the door, his newest masterpiece was sitting there on the stove. Boy did our house smell delightful and you should have seen the grin on Kenny's face!! He was sure proud of himself. He had never baked any kind of pie before. And well, I was floored! Even better...the pie was delicious! And the most amazing part is that Kenny couldn't stand tomatoes, so all that work was just for me!!









From that day on those pies became his specialty and yet he never tried a single one of them. But the rest of us sure looked forward with anticipation to a savoring bite of Ken's tomato pie.

In honor of Kenny, I took my pies to a barbecue this evening at Teresa's house. Several other people from work were there. Teresa and her husband Mick live in an old civil war era city. It's the next town over from mine.

Their house was built in the 1850's and it sits on a charming little street that's lined with big mature trees surrounded by old vintage homes. Some of the houses are Victorian style, others are Craftsman-style, and some are bungalows. Theirs is a center-hall colonial and at one time it had been a finishing school for girls. She and Mickey have been renovating it since moving there about three years ago and it's coming along nicely. It's within walking distance of the town square; just my kind of place!

We drank Sangria out on the patio and talked and laughed about all sorts of things. We listened to the birds and an occasional train roll by. The warm weather made it an absolutely perfect Southern evening! She and Mick have landscaped their yard beautifully and it was heavenly sitting out there among the fragrant flowers, and the lush bushes and trees. There is something unique and lovely to see in every square inch of their yard. It's simply paradise!

And yes, everyone raved about my tomato pies! And this morning I promised Rhonda's friend Alan that I would confess to using Mrs. Smith's pie crust. Here's my confession...so OK, I cheated just a bit!! By the way, if you click on the title to this blog it will take you to the Food Network web site for the tomato pie recipe!

I Finally "Kicked In"

OK I got busy at least a little. Not like supercharged or anything, but I did get a few things accomplished today. Did some laundry, did some straightening, did some cooking, and cleaning, and sorting and stacking...and napping. Yep! Napping! Jazz and I took a little cat nap this afternoon. Remember? I had been up with the smoke detector? Does that justify an afternoon nap??

Earlier today I even went to the jewelry store. I got a ring guard so I could wear Kenny's Black Hill's Gold wedding band. We bought it a few years back when we took that cool trip out to Colorado and South Dakota. He always loved Black Hills jewelry and so do I. I'm glad we got to do that cross country trip with Randy and his friend Chris. It was awesome. We met Kenny's Mom and his Uncle Bob in Colorado then we all drove up to South Dakota. While there, we got to see his cousins and his Uncle Dick in Rapid City. Before leaving South Dakota, we stopped at the Black Hills and bought us each a ring. Now I'm wearing Kenny's on my thumb and it makes me smile, just thinking about that great vacation.

I also took my diamond engagement ring in to have it resized to fit my right hand. And they are going to solder a new piece into the band because it has worn so thin from thirty-one years on my finger. I'm hoping of course the repair will make it last another thirty-one...

The jeweler is also going to put a new pearl in the antique ring I bought right after Kenny died. One of the pearls fell out a few months ago so I haven't been able to wear it. It's a pretty estate ring with seed pearls and beautiful steel blue saffires. I bought it with Lisa on our way to Mom and Dad's in Pennsylvania after spending the day in Annapolis planning Kenny's memorial service. I was still in shock...pretty much on auto pilot. Kenny had just died two days before...

On a whim, Lisa and I stopped at a little antique store in Westminster, Maryland. And we proceeded to have one of many unusual experiences of the week. We struck up a conversation with the antique dealer and told him we were on our way back from planning my husband's funeral. He began sharing with us stories about his life and the heart wrenching lessons he had learned. He literally put his hand on my arm, right then and there, and prayed for my healing.

Throughout the conversation, Lisa and I kept looking at each other strangely because it felt surreal, like we had stepped into another time and dimension. I can't remember all the details of it now, but it turns out that he knew the antique dealer across the street from Lisa's shop back in Lucketts, VA. He also has a sister who lives in Leesburg. Coincidentally, her house is only a few blocks from Lisa's and she owns a pool company. "It's called Jazzy Pools," he said. Lisa and I both nearly dropped to our knees. You might recall that the day before Kenny died, he had told me life would be Jazzy from now on. This was to be the first of many "Jazzy" life experiences.

The antique dealer had held the shop open past closing time for us or we might never have made this connection with that very special gentleman. He told us he was headed to a friend's house for dinner, but he was in no hurry to rush us along. Clearly he felt the gift of his time to us grief-filled sisters was far more important. As we left the store and headed across the gravel lot, he pulled down the garage door and just as it slammed to the ground he shouted to us, "Nothing happens quite by chance my dear!" It was right out of the closing scene of a movie...

Yes, that was a unique moment in time, much like many I've had since Kenny died. And that estate ring purchase was one of my great "jewelry therapy escapades." I've also tried decorating therapy, dance therapy, antique and clothes shopping therapy. Don't laugh! Retail therapy is the best so far. It really works and makes more sense to me than paying a grief counselor. At least with retail therapy you walk away with something to show for your money. And I'm pretty sure it's a whole lot more economical than counseling!!

Perhaps some day I'll write a book on my different therapeutic solutions for handling grief. In the mean time, I'll try to set out on making a few more innovative discoveries. Who knows...how about bungee jumping therapy, sky diving therapy, motorcycle racing therapy or scuba diving therapy?! LOL! What do you think of those ideas?

No Rest for the Weary!

The other day my smoke detector was chirping, so before I left for work I grabbed our five foot ladder, climbed to the top and still had to stretch to replace the battery. Did I think to change the one upstairs too? No of course not. So, very early this morning, about 4 AM, the upstairs smoke detector began telling me how stupid I am! I tried to sleep through the intermittent chirps; it's timed to only go off about every few minutes and then about once an hour. But just as I would get back to sleep the thing would chirp again.

Finally, I jumped out of bed, went downstairs, grabbed the ladder, hauled it upstairs and dismantled it...I know, I know..not very safe, but I promised myself I would replace the battery first thing when the sun came up. That didn't work too well. It continued to annoy me. I guess because it's wired in with our alarm system that thing still kept on chirping. "You monster!" I cried, "Why are you out to get me?!!!" Finally I pushed myself out of bed again, ran downstairs, and sifted through the kitchen drawer for a battery. Luckily I had just one more! I finally got it done about 5:30 this morning. And tucked myself back into bed for a little bit longer.

You guessed it, I'm now up for the day and I'm just a little grouchy! Come on, you would be too! I'm sitting here blogging and allowing my coffee to kick in, because then I have to KICK IN too and get some stuff done around here! Should be an interesting day...

Another Chapter...

Well the deal is sealed! I've been asked to take on a special assignment at work, and today all the final approvals were made. I even have a start date: the week of June 29. It's a great opportunity supporting multiple executive teams and I'm excited about it. I can bring my prior experience and lessons learned from several other "change" efforts to this new position.

Although it's only a temporary assignment, I'm thrilled at the chance to be an advocate for my current organization. In part I was recruited for this job because they need someone who knows the challenges we face from our recent reorganization, understands the vision for our future, and shares their perspective on what we need to do to get there. And, it's great to know...that they know...I am candid and comfortable being honest and upfront, regardless of rank. It will be a way for me to relay my unique perspective of the difficulties of this last year and be a conduit for my colleagues from across the country. Now that's exciting!

The last several months, I had been praying for a sense of direction for my life. I see this as an answer to my prayers. I just had not expected it would be revealed to me so soon! And now my head is spinning for all the loose ends I have to tie up before I begin the detail. Who knows the extent of this opportunity, but I've learned that one blessing normally leads to another. I will go it in faith, trust it will be exciting, and will steer me to a career path that aligns with my creative spirit.

Wow Ken! I can feel you beaming!

My Own Reality Show

Libby thinks I should have my own reality show. We could call it Put on a Happy Face or Grieving Gracefully or something along those lines. She calls me every couple days to see what I've been up to and I always have some crazy story to tell about someone new I've met or some adventure I've had. She says I make her tired just hearing about about my week.

As a matter of fact, this evening is just another example of how it normally goes for me. By the end of the day, I was really dragging and couldn't wait to get home. But Rhonda invited me to join her and a friend for dinner. And well...you know me! I just had to say, "Yes!" We met up with her buddy John from Wilmington and the three of us spent the entire evening laughing about ridiculous things while enjoying our dinner. We were instantly...three peas in a pod! And well, it's cool that I've made another friend to add to my list of fun folks.

To continue with the reality show, did I tell you about the time a few months back when I joined a band? Well...that's not exactly true. Here's how the story really goes. On a Saturday night, I had nothing to do and rather than sit at home by myself, I went to the local restaurant for dinner. When I got there the hostess greeted me with, "Good evening, will someone be joining you?" I looked over my shoulder...thinking...I certainly hope so," but replied, "No, It's just me."

She escorted me to a table in the middle of the room, right in front of the band. As I sat down, they struck up a familiar..."Play that Funky Music White Boy!" Wow! That's a song by Wild Cherry that Kenny and I had danced to a million times before. No exaggeration!

As it turns out the bass player was Howard Seas. He had been a member of KC and the Sunshine Band, another of Kenny's favorites. They continued to play a good mix of dance music and oldies...and I was really itching to get up on that floor. I scoped out the room...and well...nope, not another "single" person in the place. Boy that was frustrating. At any rate, eventually a group of couples sat at the table next to me and before long, I was boogying along with them on the dance floor.

There were moments that evening that I thought of Kenny...and had to fight to keep from crying. I just kept thinking, "No Luce, no crying allowed." And, for the most part I was proud of myself for making it a fun evening in spite of the circumstances. Shortly before quittin' time, they played Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay, that old familiar Otis Redding song. Howard asked if anyone in the crowd could whistle. Yes, you guessed it, shy little Lucy jumped up on that stage. I grabbed the mic and started whistling the chorus. Howard was both surprised and impressed. He asked me my name, then spent the rest of the evening singing Lucy in every song he sang about a woman. How cute is that? Now yes Libby I'm guessing that would make a dandy reality show!!

Click on the triangle in the picture below to hear a You Tube of Wild Cherry.

The singer looks like Kenny when we first met. Face, hair, body and all! Except Kenny was a lot cuter...he even had dimples!!!

Torture Chairs!

This week I'm taking a project management course. So, today I sat for eight hours in a dimly lit conference room, in an uncomfortable chair with the temperature at sub-zero! We got into statistics a bit during the chapter on cost and schedule. It was an interesting course, but it required a lot of concentration under extreme circumstances. Now I'm bushed!!

The chairs in class today reminded me of the ones I sat in at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Mom will probably laugh when reading this blog because I've joked about them a lot over the years. I fondly (?) refer to them as "torture chairs." We all spent many, many hours in those torture chairs at Hopkins!

I'm sure I could be successful designing and selling medical furniture and "accoutrements." I've gained first-hand experience in hospital waiting rooms, emergency rooms, patient rooms, etc. 18 years of it! What they have today could not have been designed from an "experience" perspective. So I think manufacturers should be required to spend time hanging out in hospitals. It would put a new spin on their designs.

Hospital furniture should not only provide comfort to the patient but to their primary caregiver and family as well. Especially during those long transplant surgeries of up to 19 hours! We sat through three of them! Can you imagine? I can remember our boys Kyle, Danny and Randy sprauled out on the waiting room floors...trying to catch a few hours of sleep in between the surgeon's updates.

The long banks of chairs in the waiting rooms all have arm rests in between each seat. What's that about? There is simply no way you can stretch out and get comfortable for long periods of time in those crazy chairs. After putting in grueling hours waiting, even the dirty floor was a welcome comfort for our boys. Also, there were times after sitting for hours in Ken's hospital room that I would climb right into bed next to him because I was so tired and weary. After days, and days on end, I could no longer bear to tolerate those rigid little chairs!

And here's one I know Mom will remember, "How about the custodians rolling those huge trash bins down the hospital corridor about 3 AM? " Surely those roller wheels could be made of something that would spin quietly. Remember that Mom?

Also, why didn't I think to make tally marks on the emergency room walls? I know if I had, they would now be covered with an interesting pattern from the hundreds of visits we made there. Some things...well...still conjure up difficult aspects of those years and years of Ken's illness. And that's only from our perspective. I don't even wish to think about how it was for Kenny...

A Kindred Spirit

The other day, I met a woman at work who lost her husband over a year ago. I had passed by her at work many times before, but had no idea that she was a widow too. It just shows you that you never know what someone is going through, you never really know what's behind that personae displayed for the outer world to see.

We talked for a few minutes and I shared my blog with her. The next day she sent me a very nice e-mail. As I read her touching message I was struck by how much her husband and their situation had been like Kenny's and mine. I now have a kindred spirit at work, who knows too well what I am feeling. These are the encouraging words of my newest widowed friend--

Thanks, I did enjoy the story. I remember when my Husband found out he had Huntington's, I thought why him? He is a people person, always putting other people's needs before his. He is a wonderful Husband and Father. An all around family man that was very close with everyone in his family. Parents, sisters, brothers, aunts uncles and cousins. Everyone liked Dale. He loved his job and was a dedicated soldier for 23 years, serving as the Assistant to the Sergeant Major of the Army, who is the highest ranking Enlisted Soldier in the Army. We did everything together and our children were our life. How could this happen?

Dale was always a very positive person and lived each day as if it was the most special to him. Instead of thinking about his illness we began to focus on how lucky we were to have found each other and to have had 40 wonderful years together. We knew that many people never find that kind of happiness. How wonderful our children were and how lucky we were to have them. To be able to show them the world.

The last two years Dale was not able to leave the house and I could see a change, he had lost that spark in his eyes, but he never gave up. I know he is much better off now and maybe the reason why so many good people die young is because they have a bigger reward waiting for them and it is their time to receive it. I loved this wonderful man for 40 years, he was my Husband, my Lover and my Best Friend.

He will always be a very special part of me and always in my heart, but he will not be back and I know he would want me to move on and enjoy life to the fullest. That is what I would have wanted for him, if the situation had been reversed. He still knows that I love him completely, but now it is time for a new chapter in my life and I must move on without him. I will treasure each day and live life to the fullest and one day, I know we will see each other again.

When You Get Down, Let God Take Over

Time and time again I have angel friends who look out for me and offer me advice and encouragement. Here is a wise sentiment I just received from someone dear:

"Please take care of yourself and don't let anyone or anything get you down or intimidate you and when you get down, let God take over."

This message struck me...it's simple and profound. What more can I possibly say?

A Few Scary Moments!

I got home tonight and talked on the phone with a few friends. Then my neighbor Jen gave me a ride to Five Guy's so I could get a burger and fries for dinner. We sat outside and her son Jack tried out his new skateboard gadget. I forget what they called it but it's a little fancier than your typical skate board. You know the kind we had when we were kids? This is a new-fangled version. It's jointed in the middle and it moves by wiggling your body back and forth. Interesting! What will they think of next?

When I walked in my house an hour or so later I had quite a fright! I think my heart literally stopped for a few scary moments. I couldn't find my Jazz...I called all over the house...holding my breath and feeling a bit panicky. He always comes running to greet me, but this time no Jazz and not a sound. And it's amazing what thoughts went through my head in a matter of a few minutes. Could he have gotten outside? Did he get hung up in something and is hurt...or worse?! Had someone broken in through my basement and stolen my cat? Yeah, I know my imagination was working overtime...but honestly that's what I was thinking as I frantically searched the house for my little buddy.

Finally I got upstairs and opened my bedroom door. I had closed it to keep him out of there while I was gone. Sure enough, I had unwittingly shut him inside my bedroom and bathroom. Now how did that happen?

Thankfully my cat is smart enough to improvise when he can't get to his litter box. Yes, it's somewhat gross, I know...but my bathtub worked just fine as far as Jazz was concerned. I suppose things could have been much worse. He could have chosen the carpet, or my bed, or my closet, or my clothes. The tub after all was not too bad. It was an easy scrub and now it's good as new. The best part is that my Jazz is just fine! I don't know what I would do if anything happened to that little guy!

Good Morning!

Today started as usual with me springing out of bed, turning on my radio and my two-cup coffee maker...then jumping into the shower. Each morning, by the time I am drying off, my coffee is brewed and ready to pour. Then I quickly get dressed, grab my cup of Joe and sit down at my vanity to do my hair and makeup. That's my morning routine. And it's a great way to start my day!!

Kenny would always bring me my coffee in the morning. While I was getting my shower, he would crawl out of bed, then traipse downstairs and turn on the coffeemaker. Once it was done, he would haul his self back upstairs to bring me a cup. As tired and ill as he felt...that small task was monumental for him. I used to say, "Honey you don't need to get up for me; why don't you just sleep in?" But he would insist. He said it was important to him, he wanted to do it for me and told me he could always go back to bed after I had left for work. It's one of those sweet gestures that was So Kenny. Boy how I miss his simple, but special "gifts from the heart."

Libby was the one who suggested I purchase a little coffeemaker for my bathroom. She knew it was not only about the coffee; and she was right, it has really helped me adjust to that lost ritual. Now as I pour myself a cup each morning, I remember Kenny fondly and his little sacrifices for me.

Thank you Libby for another solution that makes my transition to single life a bit easier.

The Day Went Better Than Expected

Didn't get a whole lot of resting in. Talked to a few friends on the phone. Puttered around straightening up the house, emptying the dishwasher, all the usual stuff. Then I ran out to get some Styrofoam peanuts to put in the bottom of that big jardiniere. That way it wouldn't require so much potting soil and it wouldn't get too heavy for me to move around. Yesterday a friend had given me three bags of topsoil, so before I ran to the store, I hauled those heavy things out of my car and up the flight of stairs to the top of my deck. Phew! That took some doing!!

While I was out, I also bought some new cushions for my deck furniture and picked up a window seat for Jazz. Yes, I know he is spoiled. But keep in mind...he's all I have to dote on now!!! When I got home...I did the most important task first. You guessed it! I installed Jazz's window seat! And he loves it!! Good purchase! He sat there in the window while I was working on the deck. I finally got that ornamental grass planted. I bought it the other day while Libby was here. It looks spectacular and it's supposed to grow to about 5 feet tall. It should look pretty awesome once it gets a bit taller and fills out the container. And it should provide me just a bit of privacy on my deck. You know...in case I want to sit out back in my PJ's with my morning coffee. HA!

This deck photo is for Libby...she was anxious to see the plant once it was potted. It was her idea. Great one Libby; doesn't it look swell? By the way readers...you can click on these photos to make them a little larger. How cool is that?!

It's Times Like These...

This morning I woke up with that same old familiar "funk." And yes, the headache was back too! So, I'm not making it to church today, just not feeling that great. I ambled downstairs to fix my morning coffee, then remembered I was all out of regular coffee, nothing here but decaf. And wow, I knew my headache needed its morning jolt of caffeine!! Why hadn't I remembered to pick up coffee when I ran my errands last night?

After a frustrating search, I found an old jar of coffee beans...then started digging around for my grinder. Looked through cabinet after cabinet, but who knows where that got to!!?? Instead, I made do with what I have; I whirled-up the beans in my little food processor. Nope as you might imagine, the coffee wasn't the best. Old beans, too course of grind...etc. I had a few sips, took a couple Advil, then curled up on the sofa listening to my favorite radio show--Acoustic Sunrise. Soon I was lulled right back to sleep.

An hour or so later...I started to slowly come alive. I was awakened by words from a song I had never heard before: It's times like these you learn to live again; it's times like these you learn to give again; it's times like these you learn to love again...

Busy But Beautiful Day...

I did get all that pine mulch spread in my flower beds today. It took much longer than I thought. I also edged the yard and cut the grass. Phew! Good to be done with that!! Later I drove to a friend's house about an hour and a half away. He lives on a really big lake near a quant little town. What a beautiful place! And the weather was perfect. His neighbor lady joined us for a ride on his boat. How nice to be able to walk out the back door and down to the dock. Kenny would have loved a home on a lake where he could have tied his boat out back. I wish he could have seen this place...

Later we had dinner in a fabulous little Cajun restaurant downtown. It's a real sweet old historic town. Two parallel train tracks run right through the center of it with a row of old buildings facing the tracks on both sides. As we enjoyed our meals, I watched train after train roll by.

After dinner we walked along and window shopped. There are some really cute and interesting stores in those old historic buildings.

I headed home before it got too late. I sure hated to go, the water was really sparkling in the afternoon sun. But it had been a busy day, I was feeling tired and still had a long drive back. On the way home I made a few phone calls and stopped and picked up some things I needed from the store.

I'm already dreading the fact that tomorrow is the last day of the weekend. I could sure use a few extra days... I still want to get that ornamental grass planted for my deck before I start back to work on Monday. And I would sure love some time just to relax.

That age old question, "Why Me?"

I was talking with a work colleague the other day and she said that she too had asked her self that very question, "Why Me?" You see about a year ago she had been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.

"It felt like I had taken a big sucker punch to the gut," said Teresa. She had lived a good life, had worked hard at her job, had been kind to people and was a good wife and mother. So how could this be? It's my guess that most people when faced with a similar situation, question it at first.

On the other hand, it's doubtful that healthy folks can relate to that "gut-wrenching" moment when a person hears a serious medical diagnosis for the first time. In fact, I know that most of life's challenges can't really be understood without experiencing them first hand. At least that's what I've learned this year...

Teresa eventually discovered her own answer to the "Why Me" question. For her it was rhetorical: "Why not me?" And I believe what she meant is that it's impossible to put a price on human life. How could anyone "rack and stack" the value of a life well lived, having tried to always do the right thing...or not? Is life really a game? Is it about keeping score? I don't think so and neither does she. These challenges are not meted out as some kind of punishment. God does not do that. One life can not be compared to another. We are too human. We all make mistakes, we all fall short and many of us do it over and over again.

What sets an individual apart is how they handle life's major setbacks. And Teresa is amazing! She has taken her illness in stride, she has refused to let it defeat her. This roughly played "foul" has not thrown her off balance. Her eye is squarely on the ball.

She has faced this frightening challenge with dignity, courage, strength and determination! As a result she has gained the admiration and respect of the crowd from the sidelines. They are watching her every move. And most notable? In between her own suffering she has reached out to me, she has given me heartfelt advice and she has not been afraid to let me cry on her shoulder. It's a kindness I will remember and cherish...for a lifetime!!

So...perhaps life really is a game after all. Just maybe...this game is all about how it's played. The teamwork, the "keeping your chin up," the sacrifices made for others. And you know...I'll bet ya...after the final play, it's all about selecting the team's Most Valuable Player...regardless of the score.
Teresa this year's MVP goes to you!

Serendipity at it's Finest!

Well today was back to work as usual and it started out as a good one...then went a little haywire by mid morning...and steadily improved as the afternoon wound down. About three o'clock two guys on assignment from Headquarters stopped by to talk with me about a re engineering project we are soon kicking off. One of them introduced his self as Craig from Cleveland Center. So of course that reminded me of a controller I had met a few months back who also works at Cleveland. Turns out my two visitors Craig and Mike, both knew Ron and said they were meeting him after work for dinner. They asked me if I would like to join them. Of course I replied, "Yes!" You know me...I would never pass up an invitation to join a bunch of fun people for dinner and drinks. Sorry Jazz ma Tazz, I know you were patiently waiting for me to get home after a long day by yourself.

Later about 5:30, Craig and Mike returned to the regional office, picked me up, and we headed downtown to Atlanta. We met up with Ron and two other friends of theirs at Montana Grill for dinner. Yeah, that's right, it was just me and FIVE GUYS! You might say it was p-r-e-t-t-y near perfect! The six of us laughed and told funny stories about work and life in general. Had a few glasses of wine...and finally wrapped up the evening around 9. That may seem like an early night to you...but keep in mind there was a basketball game on TV...starting at just about the same time that we had wrapped up our dinner. H-m-m... Yeah, I know those men were rushing back to catch the latest hoop dance! Priorities!

Craig and Mike drove me back to the regional office and dropped me off at my car. I jumped in and headed home. Once again...quite by coincidence...I had stumbled upon a perfect evening. It was just another of those special moments of...serendipity at it's finest. I arrived home a little while ago to be greeted anxiously by my Jazz. He had really missed me. And nope, he has no plans to watch basketball on TV!! He just wants to be with me!!! Ah-h-h, Life is Good!

Boo Hoo...

Libby is leaving in the morning and boy it's going to be hard to see her go! She has been a life-saver this weekend! Not only have we hauled away a shit load of junk from my basement but we've also had fun while doing it. We have laughed and talked and laughed and talked. And...well my Jazz will miss her too. In fact, I'm thinking I will have to inspect her luggage before she pulls out of the driveway in the morning...for fear that she will steal him...or Jazz will stow-away! They became fast friends...as evidenced by this evening's photo. Isn't it great? It captures the memory! We sat on that sofa for hours...with Jazz sleeping in Libby's arms. Every now and then he would reach up and pat her on the face. That's my Jazz! And yes, I know...here I go with the crazy cat thing again...but truly I just can't help myself. Jazz is the most amazing cat I've ever known, bar none. Even Libby who has three cats of her own, is crazy about my Jazz ma Tazz.

So let's see for today when I got home from work...we hauled away another love seat, a dresser, a table and four chairs..a computer monitor...well not exactly. The monitor went from my basement, into the truck...then the thrift shop couldn't accept it, so it went back into the truck and back into my basement. Oh good grief! We stopped on the way home and bought 14 bails of pine straw mulch, a huge garden jardiniere and an ornamental grass for me to plant this weekend for my deck. Got home, unloaded the 14 bails of mulch, the jar, the grass...and re-loaded the truck with a love seat, bar stools, coal shovel etc. that Libby is taking back to Maryland with her. Phew! On second thought, I'll sure be glad when Libby goes home....We've hauled away a total of three truckloads and one station wagon load of junk while Libby was here...Oh My GOD! And that is not all we accomplished. This coming weekend, I swear...I plan to do NOTHING! I will spend the entire weekend on the sofa with my cat...I swear! Bye Libby...I will REALLY miss you...no REALLY!!!

A Rickey Ricardo Day

I walked in the door from work tonight calling, "Honey, I'm home!" With that Libby responded, "Oh darling, tell me about your day!" And then we busted out laughing!! We fell right into talking about our hectic days...her first...me second...a hundred miles a minute. Until she paused and said, "Hey don't you want to change into something more comfortable, like shorts and slippers?" And yes, then we started laughing all over again...hysterically!!! I quickly ran upstairs to get out of my business attire so I could finally get my REAL day started.

Libby had told me earlier that she had a funny story to tell me when I got home from work...and yes, it sure was funny! Yesterday we had loaded her truck to the brim with an old gold sofa, a cheesy old dresser, a computer desk and a few other odds and ends. Her task for the day was to get rid of that stuff...in the easiest way possible.

At first she headed to the E-Bay store then she decided that was going to be too much of a hassle. So instead she decided to go to the local women's shelter charity. On the way she nearly ran out of gas...had to stop and gas up, then as she rolled up the road, one of the dresser drawers bounced out of the truck. Luckily it hadn't hit another car, but it was not in a safe spot to stop and retrieve it, so she kept on going. She was able to off-load the sofa at the women's shelter and headed back home with the dresser..now "sans" one dresser drawer.

Later, Libby set out again intent on getting rid of the rest of the junk from the back of her truck. When she stopped at a light, nearly an hour later, a very nice southern gentleman from the car beside her asked, "Say, did you lo-o-o-z-e a dresser drawer back thare?" He went on to say he had seen her dresser drawer on the side of the road. Oh yeah, what a story. So yes, she went back a few blocks, picked up the drawer and now the dresser is all put back together again. At any rate, we think we can now dump the dresser tomorrow and most likely a few other things. Where does Libby get her energy? Who knows!!

Jazz is doing pretty well. We brought him home this morning from the Vet and kept him in my bedroom all day today so he would not be too active. We wanted to keep him on the carpeted area; thought that would be better for his little kitty-cat paws. Didn't want him jumping off furniture onto the hardwood floors. All in all, he seems to be recovering quite well, thankfully! He is my dearest little baby darling!

After Libby and I exchanged our stories of the day, we launched into reaarranging my bedroom. Who knows why...but the mood just struck us both...and before you know it we were moving the bed, vacumming the carpet, moving the dresser and cedar chest...all of it. It looks pretty darn good and feels like a new room. It just needed a bit of a change.

Now as I am up here blogging, I think Libby is down there starting dinner. She stopped at that dinner-making store, called Just Dinner. She bought us a pre-made meal for tonight, because she knew she was going to be too busy to cook. Sounds like a fun and interesting place. She got the whole scoop on it today. You can go there on a Saturday and make 12 different meals...for a little financial fee. They have it all prepped and ready to go, all you have to do is show up. Sounds like they have a good group of people come there on Saturday mornings to cook. It also sounds like a place where I might meet some new fun friends. So...I am planning to try it out on a Saturday.

Well, I'm going to go downstairs now and join my dear little "Sista." We only have two more nights here together before my Libby goes home and I plan to make the best of it! Gotta grab the best of life while you can! Chow!

A Perfect Day

Libby and I are exhausted after a long perfect Mother's Day. We drove out to Serenbe; looked through all the houses, had iced tea at the Blue Eyed Daisy Bakery and stopped to pet the horses.
The weather was great! It was a bright sunny, breezy day and we were driving around in my fun little car. We were each wearing visors...and enjoyed the breeze blowing through our hair.

We are bushed...can't write much tonight...just too tired! Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!

Happpy Mother's Day

Good morning Mommy! This is my favorite photo of Mom and me! We were sitting in a park in Paris in 2004. We had just slogged through the rain and we were trying to stay dry, but you can see my pants legs are a bit wet on the edges. Nonetheless it was a fun day and a fun trip! Wish we were there right now Mom!! Or you were here with us today in Georgia. Happy Mother's Day to you!! And to Kenny's Mom too!

Today Libby and I started our morning over coffee and the local radio station's "Acoustic Sunrise." It was a perfect peaceful morning. Then of course we got busy. We are trying to cram as many projects into her few days here as possible. This morning's task was a doozy. We took the bathroom bi-fold doors apart...hinges off...and turned them around. I decided months ago that I want to paint a garden scene of Versailles on the bathroom doors and needed the solid flat side facing out to use for my canvas, rather than the recessed panel side. It took a little doing...and the use of a few "man tools" but we got 'er done! Ar-gh...ar-gh!

The next thing we tackled was to carry that huge 6 ft. long wooden table out of the upstairs bedroom. It's a monster table leftover from when Randy lived here and it sure is a big and it sure is HEAVY. We think it weighs something like, oh about 6,000 lbs!! I can't believe we got it down two flights of stairs. It was quite a feat. Now it's sitting in the entry way, just waiting for us to get it outside, around the house and into the basement. What a relief to get it out of that upstairs bedroom. It took up half the room. I could never have gotten it out of there myself. Libby and I--the two of us together--are powerhouses...packed into these girly-girl frames! Oh...and Libby says..."Thank you very much Randy...for leaving it for us to do!"

Speaking of Randy, he just called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. He is all the way in Ft. Wayne, Indiana and I sure do miss him. I miss all of my boys of course. They are spread out across this entire country. Dan is in L.A., Kyle is in Maryland. I sure do miss them...I sure do!

Well, I guess I better get this show on the road. Libby is all ready and raring to go. In fact she is sitting here now on the bed talking with my Kyle and Jessica. And we were just saying hello to darling little Chloe. All my boys have called me this morning to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. To celebrate the day, Libby and I are going to take a ride out into the country today...we are going to Serenbe. It's this really cool little "green" town they are building. It is quant and unusual and it's perfect for an afternoon drive. Wow, I'm also getting hungry now ! We may have to stop somewhere and treat ourselves to a little something.

Now Today...the Basement

Libby-dib, the curler kid

Yesterday I woke up with a weird headache. It felt like I was getting a migraine...I had a sharp pain just above my left eye. At 5:30 AM I got up and took an Exedrin Migraine then went back to bed. A few hours later, still nursing that sharp eye pain...and now a queezy stomache too, Libby and I took Jazz to the Vet. He was well past due for his little kitty cat surgery. Nuetering and de-clawing were a necessity for this guy. Yes, I know the paw surgery is controversial, but my Vet consoled me about my decision. He said he would rather submit cats to minor surgery and keep their owner's loving them, than see cat behavioral problems that would make their owners question keeping the cat. Something like that. After much long hard thought on the subject, I agree with my Vet. Jazz had started destroying my furniture which prompted me to go ahead and have his front claws removed. So at any rate, Jazz is now recovering from surgery and life will be much simpler when he gets home.

Libby and I took yesterday to loaf around a little. Well we didn't exactly loaf...we were busy as usual...just NOT working on my basement. We went to Scott's Antique Market, walked through miles and miles of stuff and didn't buy a thing. But it was fun nonetheless.

This morning we got up, drank a few cups of coffee. I am still nursing that weird eye pain; who knows what that's about... Finally, Libby and I kicked it into high gear. We loaded and hauled a truckload and a station wagon load full of stuff to Goodwill. The basement looks much better already and we have more to tackle tomorrow morning. We also got the Magnum into the shop. The air conditioner isn't working. They had to order a new hose and will fix it on Monday or Tuesday. I also checked about having them buy back the car, but they couldn't give me a good enough deal for that. So, I will probably put some signs in the car windows or put an add in autotrader. I'm finally ready to part with Kenny's car. Just taking one heartbreak at a time...first it was his boat...now his beloved car. But, no point in making two car payments now.

After getting back from dropping off the junk Libby and I had lunch and took a nap. That's how we rewarded ourselves for slogging all that stuff out of the basement. This afternoon...as Libby puts it..."We collected our thoughts..." We sat out on the front porch and watched the rain until a big lightning strike had us running for the front door. We decided sitting on a metal glider on the porch during a thunderstorm was not a brilliant idea!!

Next, I straightened up my kitchen counter. While washing the dishes, Libby broke a wine glass and it shattered all over the place. That of course meant she had to sweep and mop the kitchen floor. She asked me about my mop, which of course Kenny had bought last year. Libby says, Kenny sure knew how to pick out a good "cleaning apparatus." And well, now my kitchen and the floor is clean. What a round-a-bout way to clean the house!!

Now we are sitting here waiting for my darling friend Rhonda to arrive. Libby and I got ourselves all "dolled up" and we are headed to the little corner hang out where they play live music on Saturday nights. Rhonda says she will be our designated driver...which I'm not convinced is such a good idea! I'm excited to introduce my Libby to Rhonda. I'm sure they will really get along very well. So...that's all I will write for now...I'm sure after this evening with Libby and Rhonda I will have something very interesting to write about tomorow!!! And Libby adds, "And we will make sure you do, 'cause you only go around once!" Good night!!

Libby is on Her Way

Yippee, my baby sister Libby is on her way here by way of Myrtle Beach!!! She stopped there first to do some painting; she's getting one of the condos ready to rent. When she called last week and said she was arriving Thursday, May 8th...well surprise...I burst into tears! Anyone who knows me well, will understand. I had been facing this anniversary with trepidation and was so relieved to know that someone will be here with me today.

I spent a long day at work, just got home and have been pacing the floor watching for Libby. And that of course, reminds me of my DAD! It's exactly what he would be doing too. I'm sure these things are in the genes...

Now I'm back at my computer and Jazz is right here on my lap. It's what he does when I get home. Every now and then he reaches up and pats my face with his paw. Yep, that's my Jazz ma Tazz.

So-o-o, this is going to be a girls weekend!!! I've taken leave tomorrow from work so I can spend the day with Lib. We have a few chores lined up...like digging the junk out of my basement. I want to get myself into a very "nimble" position...so that I can avail myself of any opportunity that comes my way. I've not been very mobile in my life and I think it's time to change! Enough said about that... But in between the chores, Libby and I will be sure to also include a few fun things on our weekend agenda. Like tonight we will have dinner at...where else...but the Sun-dried Tomato, my favorite little restaurant. And this time, I will request a table front and center--right there in front of my favorite jazz trio! That's the best spot in the house and I know Lib will love being able to watch them perform. Speaking of Jazz...I wish I had a camera on my computer...this cat of mine is going through such extreme antics to try and capture my atttention while I'm so busy typing.

Well enough of this blogging...I better get back to pacing the floor for my dear sister. I'm pretty sure the pacing back and forth will hasten her arrival time!!

Happy, Happy Anniversary

Thirty-two years ago today, two kids got married. Kenny had just turned twenty-one and I was a few months shy of that. It was a happy wedding; modest by today's standards. Knights of Columbus Hall, no limo, buffet meal...fairly frugal...but FUN! For all who attended--it was a day of celebration--it was definitely a day to remember.

We had a live band...called the Nightlife. Can you believe I still remember that? They played a good mix of current rock, oldies...and real...REAL oldies!!!! Like Frank Sinatra etc. In fact, when Kenny and I auditioned the band...we made sure they could play a good ole polka for my Mom and Dad! And...yes...they...did!! I can still see my Dad at that wedding, kicking up his heels and spinning my Mom around on that dance floor! Oh yes, and I can also remember Dad gallantly waltzing me around that floor as well! He was one proud Poppa! And all I could think of is, "Hang on, smile broadly, and try not to stumble!"

Captured too in our wedding photos is the moment when Dad was over there in the corner of the dance hall, giving Kenny some "fatherly" advice. Who knows what he was telling him. But it didn't really matter...I knew that Dad was nuts about Kenny from the start and I'm sure that's what he conveyed in that solemn discussion. My guess...it was something like, "Kenny if you two ever need anything, you know we are always here for you!" That's just my guess. And well, yes that would be a promise that held true over the many years! My Mom was nuts about Kenny too!! He was her second son, for sure. No doubt about that!

Wow, it's hard to imagine where all the years have gone. It feels like only yesterday... The best thing I can take from this bittersweet memory is that my dear Kenny kept his wedding vows, always...throughout all those years. He loved and adored me in the beginning...and he loved and adored me to the very end. Now really, how lucky is that?!!

Our Timmy Tim-Tim

Yesterday I talked with Kyle over the phone and he told me that he had finally taken our dog Timmy to the vet last week to be put down. Although I knew it was coming, it still hit me hard. Timmy was old, he had become blind, mostly deaf...and finally diabetic. In fact, we had planned to take care of things while I was in DC a few weeks ago, but the vet was not available the day I was able to take off.

Kyle said, "Mom don't worry, I'll take care of it." And well as much as I felt it was really my responsibility, I was so relieved of not having to go through it right now. And yet, even though I knew it was time for Timmy to be at rest...I still cryed like a baby when Kyle told me he was gone. Timmy was Kenny's dog. This evening I reminisced about how he had become ours and suddenly I realized why it is so hard for me to think about...even now.

Before Ken's second liver transplant (in 1995) he had started talking about wanting a dog. Not just any dog...he was very specific. He wanted a little Dachsund. He had seen a fishing show, the guy had a Dachsund, and he took that dog fishing with him down on a lake. That's all it took, Kenny was hooked on the idea of having a Dachsund of his own to take out back fishing with him. I have never been a dog person myself, I have always had cats, so at first all I could say to Kenny is, "No way." I didn't want a dog; had tried it once before with "crazy dog" Fred and didn't want to try it again for any reason. But Kenny would not let up, that's all he talked about. Finally, in my head, I made a bargain with God. Basically it was, "Dear Lord if you get Kenny through this second liver transplant, I'll get him a dog!" Well...sure enough...not too hard to guess the rest of the story...

While Ken was slowly recovering from transplant number two, I started reading the Sunday pet section of the newspaper...looking for a Dachsund. I finally found one in an advertisement for the Alexandria SPCA. They were having an adoption day at Old Town School for Dogs in Alexandria, VA...and sure enough they had a little rescued Dachsund ready for adoption. His name was Timmy. I suppose it was really "Tiny" Tim. I called and asked about him. The lady told me this very sad story about a young dog they rescued that had nearly starved to death. They had to hospitalize him and he had barely survived, but he was finally ready for adoption. "How appropriate!" I thought. He and Ken have so much in common. Ken had barely survived too. So, I figured they were destined to be pals! When I broke the news to Kenny, you should have seen his smile! It was that beautiful, dimpled, Kenny smile...

That Saturday, we all packed into the mini van to go and meet our Tiny Tim. And well, what a dog! He was your typical little reddish brown mini-Dachsund. And he was perfect and he was handsome. He greeted us with such barking and going on... The boys warmed up to him right away...and Ken too. Me...well not so much. But it's amazing what love will do!

So before we left, we filled out a ton of paperwork and I tried my best to cover up my dismay about getting a dog. We had to apply to adopt that little thing and had to submit to a home visit and thorough scrutiny before they would let us keep him. After a few weeks, Timmy became our newest little boy! And...well...he was nuts about us. Right away Danny built him a carpeted ramp so he could climb into his bed at night. We got him a new red collar with a cute name tag...and a nice blanket of his own.

Timmy bonded to us so well that he actually became a bit neurotic. When ever we had to leave him alone, he had such fits! In fact, he was famous for punishing us by soiling the carpet. Oh and the boys, especially Dan, hated that when they left clothing on their floor, Tim would reward them with burying a little present in their pile of clothes. It took a while to get him house broken and for months I found myself questioning my sanity for ever agreeing to bring home another dog. But after all that initial ordeal...he became such a good companion for Kenny. He was there for him when the boys were in school and I was away at work. He and Ken spent a lot of time sleeping together in that big old brown recliner chair. Tim would curl up in a ball on Kenny's lap. And yes, they spent a lot of time out back at the lake. They used to walk all the way around and Tim would run ahead in a scurry to get home with his little ears flapping in the breeze. He would run a little bit, then look over his shoulder to be sure Kenny was still behind him. Finally when Ken got to the house, Timmy would be standing by the door just waiting for Kenny to let him in. He would hurry inside and run over to take a rest. With a tired sigh, he would find comfort by snuggling up in his crate, buried deep underneath his blanket. Yes, Kenny and Timmy spent many days going through that entire routine together; the two were inseparable!

And so in spite of all the sadness in saying goodbye to Timmy, Kyle reminded me that our dear Tim-Tim is no longer blind, no longer deaf, no longer diabetic...and no longer suffering. And the best part of all...he is with Kenny once again by that lake fishing. And yeah, well the funny thing is that we are sure, our tiny little Timmy is now rolling around in yucky, stinky goose poop!!! Just like the good ole' days!

Cinco de Mayo and Back to Jazz

My friend Rhonda invited me to have dinner tonight with her son Kenny and Kenny's Dad...Rich. We went to the local Mexican Restaurant which was really hopping with people there to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. They had a guy in the corner playing the guitar and had decorated the restaurant with balloons, confetti etc.

After dinner we went back to Rich's house for cheesecake to celebrate Kenny's birthday. Kenny is a student at GA Tech. He's a sweet kid, just like his Mom and Dad.

Now I feel like I'm going to explode! When I got home a little while ago, I was feeling so miserable, stuffed and popping out of my clothes...that I changed right into my PJ's. Sorry to conjure up unpleasant images in your head. At least these are a decent pair of PJ's, unlike what I was wearing a few days ago in my blog photo!! I'm determined to finally stop eating some day soon, or shall I say stop "overeating!" Otherwise I am likely to begin waddling like a duck. Then I will really be living up to my nickname Goose! That's what my friend Marti calls me.

Now...Let Me Tell You About My JAZZ

I'm sitting here at the computer, typing with Jazz on my lap. In fact he is sprawled across my lap with one of his arms cocked over my arm while I'm typing. His head is hanging upside down over the side of my leg. His legs are hanging off the other side of me... He is perfectly content. Wish I could take a picture of him somehow.

Yesterday Jazz and I played catch for a while. I started throwing the ball up the stairs and he ran after it. Finally he stopped on about the fourth stair and just sat there.
I got the ball again and started pitching it to him. When it landed near him, he would look at it for a moment, then take his paw and bat it down. He would watch it bounce one by one down the stairs until it reached me at the bottom. I would take that ball and throw it to him again. Each time he would bat it back down the stairs. We did this over and over and over.

One time when I threw the ball to him, he literally reached out with both paws and caught it!!! Now, I'm not making this up...I'm really serious, it's absolutely true.
And I know you don't believe me, but it's really true! He is a brilliant cat!! Actually I think he is part human. I know...I know...CRAZY CAT WOMAN!!! How did that happen???!!!