I Am Ready for a New Year!!!!

Well I tried to post a video here of the white crane walking around the pond, but the Blogger publishing feature is not working this morning...oh well. I'll try it again later.

I'm sitting here this morning on the patio outback of Gretchen's. And I am still in my cheetah PJ's! Ha! This is a beautiful spot, with a view of the pond and the golf course. It's great watching the golfers tee off at whatever hole this is...I'm not sure which one... I wonder if they notice me sitting here in my pajamas. Doubtful...they are so absorbed in their golf game.

Priscilla, Gene and I sat here earlier and watched the sun come up while all the kids slept in. They are sprauled all over the living room of Gretchen's beach house. I felt honored to have the guest room last night which is very sweet. It has its own full bathroom, a kitchenette and a private patio, secluded from the world.

The serenade of a couple of owls calling back and forth woke me up this morning. They must have been right outside my bedroom window. I'll bet they were sitting on the patio wall outside my bedroom door. I wish my camera had been near so I could have captured an audio recording of their song!!! Surprisingly it was a very cool way to wake up!!!




Gene and the boys left a little while ago to play tennis and Stacey is sitting here with me reading a book.



Priscilla is inside the kitchen puttering around. She and I will probably spend most of the day cooking and preparing for this evening's celebration.

We can check into our own place today at 3PM. We have a towhouse for the rest of our stay here. Once checked in, we will all get ready for the evening festivities. We are going to the clubhouse tonight for the New Year's Eve celebration. I am so excited...and ready to ring in a New Year.
I am "willing" 2009 to be the best year ever!!!

It's Beautiful Here!!

What a busy couple of days!! We have seen Old San Juan and El Morro Fortress.

While there we enjoyed an early dinner of Tappas and Sangria on the patio of a street side cafe.

Yesterday we planned to visit Culebras Island, but the boat was full so we went to Vieques instead.

It was very beautiful and we enjoyed the day even though we had to keep ducking under a patio during some frequent showers.

I found some pretty little treasures there while walking on the beach...coral and angel-wing shaped sea shells. Delightful!!

We had quite an adventure on our trip home...the ferry was late...and finally we had to ride home on a cargo boat...with trucks and cars!!! Not really...they were on the back of the cargo boat, and we were inside the hull sitting in nice seats. But regardless, it was quite an adventure...as it was not smooth sailing. We were ten happy people to step foot on dry land again!!

Oh my were we tired and happy to get back to the country home for a glass of wine!!! Or two...

Today we packed up our things and headed to Gretchen's beach house in Palmas Resort. It's a beautiful place that sits on a pond with the golf course on the other side. And...the beautiful blue mountains frame the distance on two sides. Big iguanas walk all over the back yard and white herons walk around the pond. It's breathtaking!!

I am sitting outside on the patio typing this...and the sun is getting low. The view just gets more and more beautiful here. Oh and Priscilla just made us some fresh Pina Colada's and we are drinking them them from pretty pastel goblets. Sweet!!!

There are all sorts of of wild things here in the yard and in the pond..birds, turtles, iguanas, cranes, lizards, etc. Interesting!!! We are only staying here one night and then we can check into a townhouse of our own...just in time to ring in the New Year!!!

The kids just got back from the pool and so the excitement begins!!The jokes, the sly remarks the silliness of it all!! I love it!! So much fun!! These kids are much like my own...I've known them since they were babies. And if I can't be with my own boys for the holidays...well these guys are a close second. How lucky to be here with Gene and Priscilla and their family!!!

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and we will get all "dolled up" and join in the celebration at the resort club house. Before we go, we will all have dinner together and Priscilla's mother, her sister Gretchen and family will join us. They have planned a typical Puerto Rican feast...pork, pigeon peas, and all kinds of fried stuff that I can not pronounce. I can hardly wait!!! I'm sure I will return a few pounds heavier, but no matter...no one will see these fat rolls anyway!!! Ha!!! I may as well enjoy myself!!!

It was 85 degrees today!!

Yeah! I got to Puerto Rico last night with my friends, Gene, Priscilla and all their kids. We had a great evening...listened to the rain on the roof. It stormed most of the night, but no worries! We are having a blast!!

What a beautiful place. Mrs. Riancho's country home is surrounded by tropical flowers and plants and there's a beautiful view of the mountains from every window and deck.
Today we got up and went to Luquillo Beach and it was nice and sunny there. I guess it had only been raining in the mountains. The beach was great today.

The weather was warm and the water was pretty warm too...especially for December!!! Priscilla and I treated ourselves to Pina Colada's. They are made fresh here...no mixes...fresh pinneaple etc. Mmmmm! They hit the spot!!!

Now we are at Priscilla's sister's and the kids are just getting out of the hot tub. I'm going to get off this computer and get into the shower. It's almost time for dinner!!!

Merry Christmas Dear Friends and Family!!!

I'm on my way to pick up Kenny's Mom and we will drive up to Pennyslvania together. I've got Jazzy Boy with me too; he will stay at Ferne's today and for the ten days that I'm in Puerto Rico. My sisters and their families will be at Grammy and Pop's too. Thankfully! Being with them may finally bring some festivity to this season.

Sadly, my boys and my brother are all spending the Holidays at their own homes this year and do I ever miss them!! I sure hope that next year we can all be together again. And I suppose we will always have to cross our fingers that no one will be sick on Christmas!!!

It will probably be a bit melancholy today, but it should mostly be a fun day with lots of laughs, hugs and good food. Kenny's Mom and I will have to leave Pennsylvania by early evening to head back home and I will drop her off in Annapolis. If time permits, I plan to stop by a friend's house later for a cup of eggnog. Then, it's back to my little apartment for a good night's rest. My flight leaves bright and early in the morning and I'm all packed and ready to go!! Yahoo!! Sunshine...here I come!!!

Missing All of My Boys...

I just learned that Kyle, Jessica and Chloe are still sick, so I won't be going to their house tonight to see Santa arrive. And sadly they won't be able to make it to Mom and Dad's tomorrow either.

Wow! It just hit me that this is the first time ever that I won't be with any of my boys for Christmas. That's a first!! So...I'm trying not to dwell on it...don't want to be the "downer" at the Holidays...but Wow! This is really hard...

So here's my plan, I'm going to throw myself into my packing for Puerto Rico and I'll keep myself busy that way. Perhaps I'll even go and get my nails done...and do a little pampering of myself. And, I'll just keep thinking of the fun time I will have on that Island this time of year. I can't wait to feel a little sunshine!!! There's just nothing quite like sunshine in this widow's world!!

Swiss Chocolates

Oh my goodness! I can't help myself!!! I just had to post this photo of the box of Swiss Chocolates...or shall I say "Suisse" chocolates...that I got from one of my bosses today!!! Yes, I said "one" of my bosses...because I have a multitude of them!

At any rate, I got home and opened this...and Wow! Get a load of these beautiful delicacies!!! I could hardly bare the thought of eating one and messing up the fabulous presentation. These chocolates are so beautiful that I just had to snap a photo. I don't believe I've ever had chocolates quite like this before. And...oh, as beautiful as they look!!! Well...the taste of them? They are simply to DIE for!!!

The Good News? I'm Essential...the Bad News? I'm Essential!!!

We had a pipe burst at work today so about 1PM employees in both of our big government buildings were released to go home. During a break from my meeting, the news had made it's way around the halls...and I have to admit...I was gleeful!! Hooray!!! I can go home and finish my shopping, wrap gifts and pack for Puerto Rico!!!

Once the meeting got started again, there was a discussion about it among the VPs I support. Ha! And...I very honestly admitted my glee about getting to go home! Well...they simply smiled back and said, "Oh, no you are not going anywhere...you're essential, we can't do this without you!"

It was not exactly what I wanted to hear. On one hand, it's nice to feel really needed, but on the other hand...it's weird that the entire two buildings were evacuated and there I was stuck in the meeting. And...afterwards, I had to go back to my desk to follow up on a few things because our meeting tomorrow is not cancelled either!! In fact, we've already arranged space in another building just in case ours is still closed tomorrow.

So I had to get "all my ducks in a row" to be ready and raring to go in the morning. I'll report to the building as usual at 7AM, then figure out whether I have to haul myself over a few more blocks to the other meeting place. I'm NOT looking forward to it. It's sure not a good time to be traipsing more than a block or two outside because it's COLD out there!!

At any rate, I stayed in the office tonight just as late as usual and even had to spend some time trying to find a bathroom that was not too disgusting to use. Yes...some other things are also essential!!! And...wow, after a few hours of unflushable toilets we sure had some nasty bathrooms around the building. It's amazing how quickly they go awry when the plumbing doesn't work!!!

I have to admit, it's nice to be back in my little apartment with water that runs and a toilet I can flush!! And so...Ha!!! Now, I have a brand new perspective on something I used to take for granted. I now look upon that one basic, but necessary function...as one of life's simple pleasures!!! LOL!!! Go figure...I may just spend the entire evening in there!!!

The Wind Chill is 2 degrees!!!!

Oh My!!! And I have to go out in it...soon. I wish I could stay home today, but I've got an all day meeting today and another one tomorrow. Hmmmmm. I may just have to take the day off Christmas Eve. Wouldn't that be sweet???

It was a blur of a weekend. Friday afternoon I had a work Christmas Party...with DANCING!! Yahoo! Of course I had to be bold enough to find myself some dancing partners. But you know me...that was not too much of a problem.

Saturday was my metal class. Luckily it was a rather balmy day so it was not nearly as cold working out there as usual. Hugh surprised me with something new. He just happened to pick up a new welding helmet for "us!" Isn't that cute? It's the neat kind that the lens changes when the arc lights up...so you can watch and see what you are doing the whole time you are welding. When I learn to use the plasma cutter that will be cool...because I'll really be able to see what I'm doing!!!I am VERY excited about it!!! And before I left for the day, Barbara brought me out a tin of home baked cookies...with a very sweet card wishing me happy memories. How nice!!! She knows from experience how these first few years are...when you are missing someone you love.

After metal, I headed over to Kenny's brother's house. We were having his family's Christmas party. It was a little hard driving into our old neighborhood. As I rounded the bend, I caught glimpse of our old house sitting there on the lake. I thought of driving by, but just can't do it yet. I didn't want to show up at my brother in law's house crying. So, I soaked it up, put on a happy face and spent the evening with Kenny's family. Boy...we sure miss him!!

Yesterday was another whirlwind shopping day and I came home, wrapped everything for Dan and Randy and then headed straight for the FedEx. Luckily it's right across the street! Yeah!!! I got 'er done!! Their gifts should arrive on Christmas Eve with no problem. Of course it cost me a zillion dollars to ship them...but no worries! I'm just relieved they will have some gifts to open on Christmas morning. Santa has been very, very busy the last several days here!!! Or at least I'm guessing he's been busy. I sure know I have been!!! And thankfully, I'm finally, finally feeling the Christmas spirit!!! It's a good feeling...

I have only two days left to finish up the wrapping, and get my packing done for Puerto Rico. I will spend the night with Kenny's Mom on Christmas Eve and we will drive to Pennsylvania to my Mom and Dad's on Christmas Day. It will be home again that night..then I'll hop on the plane the next day for my trip!!! Sheesh...I'm tired already just thinking about it!! I hope I get to just sit at the beach...and read a book!!! Man...that's what I'm longing to do!!!

Love...Is As Perrenial As The Grass...

Desiderata has always been one of my favorite poems and this rendition from YouTube set to Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings is very, very nice!! Just click on this blog title to see it!!

Funny, Funny Girls!!

Here we are in the parking lot after the awards ceremony. As it turns out we could not take our cameras into the building...not even our cell phones or memory sticks!!! So we stopped on our way out and snapped this silly photo before we hopped back into Shelley's car. Yes...and they made me show off my leopard print dress!! Funny, funny, girls!!!

My, my!! As it turns out we were not at the Pentagon, but Bolling Air Force Base at the Defense Intelligence Analysis Center...and it was top security getting in. I was sure they were going to have to frisk me at the security desk!!! Or...shall I say...I was hoping they would have to frisk me!! LOL!!

It was a very nice ceremony, and it was presided over by "the General," the Director of DIA! There was a whole lot of cheering and clapping going on for my friend...Shelley-belle! She is a direct report to the big dog Chief Financial Executive for the Defense Intelligence Agency. Imagine that!! She managed the DIA funds for Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom and a whole lot more. Wow Shelley, you've come a long way baby!!! And she sure deserves this award...she works harder than anyone I've ever seen...and she really knows her stuff.

Marya, Carolyn, Vanessa and I got to sit in the family section, so we were right up front behind the big wigs. And it was interesting to hear the awards granted to people who have so much to do with counter-terrorism...keeping us safe. Thank goodness for them. In fact, some folks were only announced by their first names...their last names weren't mentioned because they are members of the intelligence community and their identities are safeguarded. Interesting.

We laughed the entire time we were together...before and after the ceremony that is!! It was great! Too bad we didn't have more time to spend together. We will have to get together again real soon. Shelley is still trying to convince me to go to work at the Pentagon. Hmmmmm, all those uniforms!!!! I'll have to take it under serious advisement!!!

Men in Uniform!!

What could be better than a bunch of men in uniform...especially flight suits?? I've been invited to a Pentagon ceremony today. My friend Shelley is getting a meritorius civilian award. Congrats to Shelley-belle! No one works harder for the Pentagon.

I'm honored that Shelley thought to invite me. And of course I said, "Yes Shelley, I'll be there, with bells on my toes!" After all, what woman could resist being surrounded by men in uniform!!??!! Not me!!! Oh my!!!

It's a leopard print dress day...

A Pleasant Surprise!!

I got home from work tonight and called my Mom and Dad. They had just gotten back this weekend from a trip to Germany and we needed to catch up. We talked for quite a while and when I got off the phone, there was a voice mail from a friend of mine who lives in the building. He had invited me to dinner!! Cool!!

I had just been wondering what I would scrape together to eat this evening! As usual there is very little here in my apartment; the fridge and cabinets are bare. So, it was great to get an impromptu invitation, especially from someone who loves to cook!! I grabbed my bottle of red wine and dashed upstairs.

This guy is even more "domestic" than me. I was greeted by a nice pine wreath hanging on his door...and the inside of his apartment was all decked out with colored lights, a full-sized Christmas Tree, and a background serenade of spirited holiday music. It's a much nice place than mine...much, much nicer!!! It even has a panoramic view of National Airport and Washington DC. You can see the Kennedy Center and the Washington Monument in the distance. And the planes and metro are contantly going to and fro the airport.

He had just finished making a pan of fudge...and I could smell the honey-baked chicken in the oven. Mmmm-mmm!!! Perfect!

We sat down to the table...and he offered grace...a very sweet prayer about blessing the meal and sharing it with a friend. Over dinner, we got all caught up with what's going on in his life...with his kids, his girfriend...and his job. And then I told him all about the latest with mine. I had taken my horse sculpture along...and he thought it was pretty cool; said he REALLY liked it!

We spent the evening commiserating about life and the tough decisions we both have to make pretty quickly. Finally, it was getting late, so I helped him put the food away and dashed back out the door!! Wow! It sure was a nice way to spend a rainy Tuesday evening....

We Have to Walk Right Through This Stage...

Lisa pointed me to another blog, Inspire Co; it's added to my list of favorites. This writer Amy had a similar experience. Her grief was brought on by a failed adoption and here's how she described it:

"I think what's happened is that I've entered a new stage of grief. And I think it is in this stage that someone could really disappear into the darkness of it all....I am here standing at the mouth of a cave that has no end."

and there's more:

"We will make it through this...we have to. And I think that's the key in all of this...we have to get through this. We have to walk right through this stage with all the strength we can muster. There's no shortcut and no easy way.I can feel the hand of God on me, helping me through. He expects us to get through it so that we can go on and help others."

That's exactly how if feel...I just need a little more time...and a whole lot of understanding...

Man Was Not Meant to Be Alone...

Well I've finally figured out what it is...this funk!! It's biblical and who could dispute God? The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." And of course this surely applies to women too.

My helpmate is gone... So...no wonder I'm feeling as I do. I just can't get into the Holidays...even though I should be celebrating the birth of Christ. But all the hoopla that goes with it...I just can't do it this year. Sorry...I just can't do it...I just can't do it!!

For everyone else's sake, I'll try to keep putting on that happy face for you all...but I'm not happy inside. And I'm not looking for any sympathy so there's nothing that can help. It's just the way it is...it's how I feel to be stuck in this "Widow's World." So there you have it!!

Plasma Cutting...

Here's what I'll be learning next in my metal apprenticeship. I pulled this from Wikopedia!

Plasma cutting is a process that is used to cut steel and other metals (or sometimes other materials) using a plasma torch. In this process, an inert gas (in some units, compressed air) is blown at high speed out of a nozzle; at the same time an electrical arc is formed through that gas from the nozzle to the surface being cut, turning some of that gas to plasma. The plasma is sufficiently hot to melt the metal being cut and moves sufficiently fast to blow molten metal away from the cut. Plasma can also be used for plasma arc welding and other applications.

I'm excited!! Something else to put in my "tool belt" of skills!!!

The Week Before Christmas???

Can it be the week before Christmas?? Oh Good Grief! How did that happen???!!!! I'm not ready, not ready, NOT!!!!

The National Christmas Tree

I can't believe I've lived in Metropolitan Washington all these years and it's the first time I've walked around the National Christmas Tree! Amazing! I met a friend for dinner last night at Pentagon City and he suggested we go see it. You know me...I love spontaneity, so of course I said, "Let's go!!"

Although it was a little cold to be walking out there since I was wearing only a light weight jacket, I decided to shiver my way along, and I am glad that I did!!!

The tree was spectacular! It was all lit up with white lights...and oh what a setting! We had a view of the Washington Monument to one side and the White House to the other. It was simply splendid to say the least.



Then we walked a few more blocks to Old Ebbitt's Grill for a drink and finally we headed to the warmth of our homes. It was a a fun and memorable evening!! And it's one I'll remember for days to come...

My Goodness!

Time is moving at such a fast pace! I suppose it's because of the holidays. But, I just need to slow it down a bit...to give myself some time to breath.

When I realized this week that neither of my two youngest boys will get home for Christmas, I decided to join Gene and Priscilla in Puerto Rico for the Holidays. First, I will spend Christmas Day with Kyle, Jess, Chloe and the rest of my family and the next morning I will board a plane to seek the warmth and treasure of that beautiful Island!! I haven't had a vacation in about three years, so I am dancing on a cloud...

Kenny, our boys and I, went with Gene and Priscilla to Puerto Rico many years ago. We joined them at Christmastime and between our two families, hauled six little be-bopping, back-pack toting boys onto that plane!! It was quite a trip and over the years we have laughed and laughed at the antics of it all.

This year, when I heard they were going again between Christmas and New Years, I thought, "Oh, how different it will be spending the Holiday without them!" Ringing in the New Year together has been our tradition for a long, long time. But as it turns out...with my typical brush of serendipity, I get to go along!!

Our families started spending New Year's together when the boys were just little tykes. We would devote the entire evening to keeping all our boys in line and eating, drinking, and playing Trivial Pursuit or Pictionary, while laughing at our two very funny husbands!! I can just hear the sound of Gene chuckling at Kenny...and Kenny howling back. The big joke, which became quite old frankly, was the guys pretending to shave their faces with the game buzzer. Oh the silliness of it all!!!

After a fun evening we would usher in the New Year together watching that ball drop in New York City. We happily raised a glass of champagne to the memory of a special year passing and a new one just beginning. Ken and I would finally bundle up our sleeping boys and carry them through the cold to the car. Then we would drive a few houses up to get them home. Oh my, those were the days!!!

This year, all of Gene and Priscilla's boys and their girlfriends, wife etc. are going along. Their youngest son Daniel will just have to be "my date" because neither of us will have a significant other this year. Thankfully Dan is a good sport! I think I will even try to convince him to dance with me to Old Lang Syne! My guess? It will be a sappy, sentimental moment.

And I'm looking forward to hugging Priscilla's Mom again and her sister Gretchen. I haven't seen them since Kenny died, so I'm sure those hugs will be bittersweet.

Tomorrow I'm going to start packing. I have something special to look forward to!

Is it Really Thursday?

Where did this week go? It's a blur! I'm getting ready to run out into the rain. It's supposed to mix with snow after midnight tonight...and then be colder again tomorrow. Oh my!! Better run...

Baby It's Cooooold Outside...

I really can't stay...baby it's cold outside. I've got to go away...baby it's cold outside. This evening has been....so...very...nice....la, la, la, la-la, la, la-la-la...

Wow! It's one of my favorite songs and I'm singing it this morning. I know it's cold out there and I just want to stay bundled here inside. Wish I had a big old fireplace to warm up to!!! But...I've got to brave it...I've got to get out there...and go make myself a living...

Baby it's cold...baby I'll freeeeeze out there...I really must go...la,la, la, la, la....

So really, I better scurry...la, la, la, la...

Here's a cute rendition...this one's for Mom...it's Tom Jones!! I know I'm dating myself...but the guy does have somethin'. It's not really his looks...he just has charisma...the chemistry. And well...we all know that chemistry is what it's all about!! Ha!!

OK, here I go...out into the cold! It's time to get my day started!!!

Baby it's Cooooooold o-u-u-t...
s-i-i-i-de!!!

Good Morning Hot Rod!!

I have a new nick name--Hot Rod!! My friend Brad dubbed me that. I guess it's because he reads my blog and sees that I'm always going a hundred miles an hour. Or so it seems. But...I did actually catch a nap today at Carla's. I had been out pretty late last night listening to two different bands in downtown Annapolis. I didn't get in until 2AM this morning because we closed down both pubs. Now I haven't done that in a VERY long time!!! But it sure was fun! Pretty much right up my alley!!!

So...by this afternoon, I was plum tuckered out. I curled up on one of Carla's big ole sofas...in front of a roaring fire. And I had one dog, Missy's pug, sleeping at my feet and the other one, Meredith's Yorkie, curled up in my arms. Sweet!!! It was great to get a nice cozy nap on a cold winter's day.

Papa Charles even cooked us dinner. We had a feast of oven roasted pork chops, baked sweet potatos, collard greens and biscuits. Mmmmmm-mmmmmm!! Yummy yum!!

It's a Jazzedy Doo Dah Day!!!!!!

And I'm off to shape metal!!!!

Looking Forward to My Home Away From Home!!!

After the metal class tomorrow I'm headed to Carla's...it's my new home away from home. I love it there!!! I get to see Rema and Charles and there is always something going on at their house. Dogs, raccoons on the deck, people visiting...lots of stuff happening!!!

Besides all that...Carla's got the dreamiest beds in town. I know it will sound crazy but she is one of those rare ones who still irons her sheets!! Trust me she would never get that kind of hospitality at my house...but nonetheless...her beds ARE comfy man!!! Oh I can't wait!!

And not only that but the food...well the food at their house is to die for!!! Here she is last weekend fixing us all breakfast!!! Yum!!!

Oh...and when her sister Mim is visiting...she pampers me too...by fixing me some knock-out martinis. Wow!

So...there you have it. I'll be over there tomorrow afternoon...and then I'm going with another old high school bud to hear some live music on West Street in Annapolis. Fun, fun, fun!!! So now I better go tuck myself in my bed...I've got an early and busy, busy day tomorrow. And I still have Sunday left...just imagine!!! Phew!!!

TGIF!!!!

Today should not have been so busy...it IS FRIDAY after all! But, I didn't leave the office until 5:30 tonight. For a Friday in a Government Building, I was just about the last one to turn out the lights!!! And that was after a long, hectic day! Now I'm sitting here waiting for a friend to arrive and we are going to see that new movie Australia. I'm so excited...it's supposed to have beautiful cinematography. I guess that's what it's still called????!!!! At any rate, it's a "feel good" movie...the only kind I care to see these days. Should be a fun night.
Tomorrow I'm headed to metal class in the AM and then I'm off tomorrow night to hear a local band...they are playing live in Annapolis. Sunday I'm finally getting to see the newly remodeled American History museum. I'm going with a friend from work. That museum has always been my favorite...so I can't wait!!!

As I'm sitting here typing, my Jazzy boy is sitting on my lap and he has both of his paws wrapped around my right hand. And he just keeps pawing at me. What a funny boy!! I'm pretty sure he is a little jealous of my laptop. I spend so much time on my computer and whenever I do...he climbs up here and tries desperately to get my attention. I know...I know...he IS a guy after all!!! Ha!!! Funny Martine...now that's REALLY funny!!!

The Shredder Ate My Notes...

Oh my goodness!! What a day!! I was talking with one of my mentors and confessed that I'm having a little trouble staying organized.

I support multiple executive councils, take multiple notes, and keep the documentation etc. And it's always in various stages of progress. I've got people calling me all day long requesting to come before the councils, I'm constantly juggling schedules and gathering information...giving people advice and guidance. And...so...it can be a bit overwhelming keeping it all straight.

I told this woman that I was having trouble because I have reams and reams of notes from this team and that team, including sticky notes to myself and papers all over my desk!! She suggested that once the meetings are documented, I should just throw caution to the wind and shred my handwritten meeting notes. Just call it a day and get on with the next round!!!

So I marched right back to my office...and with new encouragement, I said to myself..."She's right, I don't need all this stuff hanging around...I need to lighten the load...get things in order here!"

So next, I scooped up all that paper into my arms...and headed to the shredder. Wow! What a feeling to send page after page through that groaning, grinding machine...get 'er done!!! Lickety split!

And when I was finished turning it all into shreds, I matter-of-factly brushed my hands of it all! And I sauntered back to my desk feeling very pleased with myself. Then I set back to work finishing up the documentation for the last meeting held this week.

Suddenly...Oh...My...Gosh!!! I froze in a panic...and my jaw dropped to the floor!!! Oh My Gosh! Yes, you guessed it!!!! I had shredded this week's notes!!! Oh...My...Gosh!

For a minute I sat there and tried to conjure up the events from Monday's meeting...but by now it was mixed with all the other week's worth of meetings and conversations...and phone calls. Blank...my mind was completely blank.

I ran back to the shredder and stuck my face into the bin!!! No-o-o-o-o! What have I done? There's no way could I piece back together those little bitty stips of paper and make any sense of it all!! It just ain't gonna happen!

So...now what to do? I could make up a story...I could pretend I just didn't have all the info...or I could fess up to my shortcomings. What a decision...but I've pretty much always been a "What you see is what you get kind of gal."

So...I finished up the notes the best I could, based on what I was able to pull from my old foggy memory and I distributed what I had pieced together with an explanation. "Please excuse me if I've missed anything from the meeting, I had a little run-in with the shredder!!! It ATE MY NOTES!"

And so you see...there's a lesson here. I will never again try to be someone I'm NOT!! It's just not me...to be so methodical...which is why I had hung onto all that paper all along. By now, after all these years, I know myself w-a-y-y too well and I've learned how to compensate for who I am!!! I was hanging onto that paper for a reason... And I'm just not supposed to have a tidy desk!!!

Well...when those VPs got my message, they either found the humor in it and laughed, or they thought I'm a real blond bimbo...or they simply realized...I'm just human after all!

Oh My Man I Love Him Sooooo...

It's my Jazzy Boy! I love my sweet cat!!! As usual, while I was getting out of the shower this morning...he was sitting there peeking around the door frame. Just curiously watching every step I made!! It's our morning ritual.

Then as I proceeded to fix my hair and makeup...he jumped up onto the bathroom counter...and perched himself between me and my work.


Jazz is such an obstacle every morning as I get ready. He is so curious. He analyzes everything I do. I think he wants to be sure I don't do it wrong. Just like a typical man!!! Ha!!

And I'm sure, the whole time he must be thinking..."Why does she have to go to work?" And, honestly, I'm wondering that too!!! But, I've got many, many years to go. Those were the cards I was dealt!!

Oh goodness, speaking of work...I've got to get rolling...

On Prancer...

OK, I've got the reindeer thing going. It's the best I can do about getting the holiday spirit. So, OK, here I go...prancing out the door!!!! HA!!! Onward and upward!!!

Now Dasher...

Like one of Santa's reindeer...I'm getting ready to dash off to work. Gonna run to catch the metro in just a minute. It was a good weekend.

Went with Carla and the gang to a hockey game in Richmond.
Her son Russell was playing. That pretty much sums up how much I love Carla...everyone knows I'm not into hockey!!!

But it was a fun road trip...we drove down and back in one evening. Carla, her Papa, sister Mimi, daughter Missy and friend Meridith, and I all piled into their big old Suburban.

The girls even brought pillows and blankets so some of us caught a little nap in the car.

Once we got there we had cocktails by the fire at the local hotel until the rink opened. That warmed us up for the game. It was a nice rink and the game was exciting. Perhaps a little too exciting...yes there were a few fights here and there.

After the game we got to see Russell for a little while before the team got on the bus. Then after a round of hugs for the boy...we left for home. We got back to Carla's about 1AM so I stayed there rather than drive home so late.

The next morning was breakfast...m-m-m-m, at Carla's it's always a treat!!! Ham and eggs! Then I packed up the car (AGAIN!) and came home to Jazzy B. I spent the day just hanging out.

Can't quite get into the holiday spirit for some reason... I guess that's understandable...I'm just not feeling it. And I don't even like hearing Christmas music this year. I wish it would all just go away. Stay positive, stay positive, stay positive. Yeah right!!! Bah humbug!!!

Hey there!

Well I have plenty to blog about...just don't feel much like blogging. Blah, blah, blah! Does that work?

The Turkey Day is Over...

Yesterday was a fun day with my family!! We gathered at the Aktug's club house...after hauling ourselves and our food...over the river and through the woods!!


It was a flurry of activity in that big old industrial kitchen...
Everyone set out to work and there was plenty of room for us all to scurry around.

My family is the coolest! Even the guys get in on the cooking...no football slugs in our family. Love that!!!


We shoved the food into the oven...put down tablecloths and center pieces of flowers on all the tables. Oh, and we popped open a few bottles of wine and beer...to add to the fun and help motivate us to keep moving!!!


In short order we had the place turned into a festive Thanksgiving setting.




Finally with everything in the oven...we even had time to sit around and enjoy some appetizers while we waited for our dinner to be ready.



And eventually with a second round of frenzied activity...
the Turkey with all its trimmings was ready!


We all gathered round for a moment as Pop blessed our meal by giving thanks. As always he asked the good Lord to watch over those who could not with us...

It's a Triple Play!!!

What a great day for a birthday!!! Three dear ladies are celebrating today, Carla, Melissa and our Danny's dear Ara!! How can that be...three special birthdays??? Yes, it's a special day indeed!!!

Last night a group of us met at Finn's in Crofton to celebrate with Carla. Normally I try not to go out during the week...especially having to drive so far away...but well, it was "The Queen's" birthday, so of course I couldn't miss it!! And...it was so much fun. A bunch of my old high school buds were there. There's nothing more fun than that!

Happy Birthday my three special girls!! Carla, Melissa and Ara!! I hope it's a birthday you will always remember!! Love...hugs and kisses to you all!!!!!

I'm Already Bored...

And it's only 9AM! I'm catching up on my TV watching...seeing what's going on in the World. Now I know what the girls have been talking about on FACEBOOK. It's Twighlight...the movie! And although it sounds a little strange to be in love with a vampire...after seeing the guy...well...I can understand why they are nuts about him! Oh to be young again!!

I'm sitting here in my PJs and Jazz is biting my toes. Thankfully my handy-dandy water bottle is within reach! So I do a quick and ready aim and a squirt of water to convince him to stop biting me!! Ouch! There he goes again! That little rascal!

Oh, yeah...can you tell I'm bored to tears? Oh my, it's gonna be a very, very l-o-n-n-n-n-g-g-g day in my little apartment!!! Just me, my Jazzy Boy and a handful of channels on the TV set. Good grief!!

My Goodness...My Cold!!!!

Well I'm up at this early hour, but I'm sure not moving very fast. And I won't be going to my metal apprenticeship this morning. I spoke with my Mom last night and my Jessica...and they both talked some sense into my head. I'm still hacking...and I'm sounding like a truck driver once again. Generally, I'm just feeling very poorly. I suppose I haven't been taking very good care of myself.

Under the circumstances,the schedule I had lined up for today just didn't make a lot of sense. Standing out in the wind and cold this morning would not be very good for my condition. Br-r-r-g-g-g-h-h-h-h!!!

And, I won't be going to Teri's shower today either. Jessica's logic prevailed! She reminded me that, my goodness...Teri is just weeks away from having a baby!!! I don't need to be taking this germ anywhere near her, especially since it's been hanging on to me now for three weeks. Imagine this creepy germ latching onto Teri!! Not good. As it is, I'm afraid I've already passed it on to Kyle. That's not good either...

So, here I am in my PJ's and I'm gonna stay this way for a while. I'm going to wait a few hours to call Hugh and tell him I won't be finishing my horse today. Funny, but this was one tough decision...that's how much I look forward to my metal apprenticeship...now I'll have to wait another week for my creative fix! Bummer!!!Big bummer!!!

Now the party...what about the party I was invited to attend tonight? Hm-m-m-m-m-m, party, music, people? It's a celebration for an old high school friend who just got back from Iraq. Well I'm gonna think on that one a while. Perhaps by some miracle...the much needed rest I receive today will allow me to spring back to life by evening. We will see... That will be an even tougher one to cancel out on!!!

What a Day...

I spent the day catching up after being away since Monday at an offsite. I finally headed for home a little after five and when I walked outside it was pitch dark. I dread this time of year because I leave for work in the dark and typically I head home in the dark too!

As I started across the street to the metro...I caught sight of the Capitol. It was all lit up and well...what an awesome sight against the dark night sky. I have promised myself to never take these Washington buildings and monuments for granted ever again. So...I took a few extra minutes to walk across the street and snap a picture. I just happened to have my camera with me!!

On my way home I stopped at Pentagon City to do a little shopping. I have a baby shower this weekend for Kenny's niece Teri...so I needed to pick up a gift. She is pregnant with her second child and knows it is a girl. Teri was the flower girl in Kenny and my wedding so she holds a special place in my heart. And her Uncle Kenny simply adored her. Oh my, where did our little girl go? And how did life fly by so quickly?

I'm so excited for our dear Teri. All she ever wanted since she was just a little girl is to grow up and have children of her own. And for a while there, we were all afraid that dream would just not come true for her.

Well just look at her now. Finally...after waiting so long...she is blessed with the family she has always wanted. A boy AND a girl! How special!!! Her baby girl is going to be named Mary Grace. What an appropriate name. Mary...is Teri's first name and I love the name Grace...especially with all that it signifies. This little girl is destined to be a little princess. Here is Teri with her little guy, Bryce. Now tell me, could there be a more beautiful Mom and Son?

A Natural High...

Is knowing that

somebody misses you!!

Gooooood Moooooorning!!

It sure is good to be back in my little apartment. Jazzy Boy missed me so much...he just kept meowing and meowing and meowing. Last night he slept in the crook of my arm with his paws on my chest. Every now and then throughout the night he would pat my face with one of his paws. Oh My Gosh!! My cat LOOOOOVVVVVEEEESSSS me! Even though it kept waking me up...it was very sweet. What a cutie!!!

Now as usual, I'm dashing out the door. I'll button my coat up tight against the chill! Br-r-r-r-r-r-g-g-g-h-h-h-h!! Have a good one!!!

Well Hello!!

I'm back from my work conference in Towson. It was sure great to see so many work colleagues and it was a great week. We accomplished a lot...and well...I sure am going to be busy the next several weeks as we put arms and legs on the actions we developed. Interesting work...interesting indeed!!!

Another Work Meeting

I'm here in Towson and am getting ready to go downstairs to another work meeting. I arrived last night. A couple of us rode with a friend and with the crazy weather it took us two hours for a trip that would normally take only one. It was raining the entire time...and actually for the last 10 miles or so it was snowing...a real wintery mix!! My, my...we checked in, threw our luggage in the room and went for a glass of wine and a bite to eat!!! What a long day yesterday!!

This morning should be fun. There are managers here from all over the organization...it's kind of like a big old reunion of sorts. And that's good because I'm in a bit of a funk this morning. Sometimes I just feel like the weight of the World is on my shoulders... Hopefully it will be a peaceful day.

My dears...Pat and Priscilla!!!

Today Priscilla and I rode over to Kent Island and met Pat for brunch. We ate at a little local restaurant by the Kent Narrows bridge...had your typical breakfast and laughed about starting our diets TOMORROW! Actually, that's not entirely accurate...Pat ate reasonably...but Priscilla and I both "fell off the wagon!!" Yes...Priscilla and I will start eating reasonably tomorrow. Right Prisci?

After breakfast we went to the outlets and shopped 'till we dropped. Come to think of it, I was the only one who bought anything. Hm-m-m, how can that be? Well...I got some cute stuff to wear to work this week. I got a couple new jackets...and a cute, rockin' dress!!

It was such a nice day today. There's nothing quite like old friends who love you unconditionally! Pat and Priscilla...we have all been through so much together and have history to share of raising our kids, working hard...and enduring all of life's trials. We have loved each other through thick and thin. Sometimes we go months without talking or seeing each other...but no matter. We are buds!!

A New Perspective

It hit me today that the introduction to my blog page needed an update. I decided it no longer painted an accurate picture of who I am. So I've revised it. I've even given it a slightly new look and feel to reflect the new me.

A lot has changed in the fifteen months or so since Kenny died. But today I can say...I finally have many more happy days than sad ones. And that's really saying a lot, since this past year had been filled with overwhelming, gut-wrenching, sadness and grief.

Thankfully...I have gotten through the fog...and I'm beginning to feel like my old self again. Now that's not to say that I don't miss Kenny. I do still miss him...tremendously...in ways that are hard to describe. But...I'm getting by. I've settled in to my new life and it's mostly comfortable and I'm mostly content and happy from day to day.

I've learned so much about being a widow. And although I'm so much happier, there still remains that lingering loneliness...while I'm surrounded by a multitude of people. I still dread coming home to my empty apartment. It's not out of fear at all...it's simply out of loneliness. And I still miss the companionship of my lifelong partner. In fact, something happened today...that instantly had me longing for Kenny. I wanted to dash home from work and talk it over with him. And of course I couldn't. It's moments like this that haunt me in my new life as a widow.

The long time friendship and companionship that Kenny and I had...the knowledge of each other's families...the history we shared...well it's all gone. To start that same conversation today with anyone else, would mean updating them on so much background and so much history to set the context for the discussion. Oh yes, that's how it is living without Kenny.

But, I'm definitely pressing forward. And who knows how the rest of this year will go. I'm guessing each day will continue to get better even as I still have much to sort out with my new life. Do I buy a new house? Or a condo? Or do I continue to rent? Which car should I sell...or should I get rid of them both? There are still so many things to work out...and now it's all solely up to me to decide. But at least my days are lighter, they are finally brighter and I'm learning to be happy once again.

Kenny Was There!

Just take a look at this family photo. Jessica says, "Mom, see that space between Randy and Danny...that's where Dad was standing!"

You know...Jessica, I'll bet you are right!!! And, just look how lucky I am. Check out my three handsome sons!!! All I can say is WOW!!! God is good!!!

What a Weekend!!

In spite of getting a chest cold and barking like a truck driver...I was still pretty busy. I did relax on Saturday; spent the entire day in the apartment and was bored to death. Sunday I tried out a new church. Turns out it's the one with that minister you've probably heard on the radio..."Not a serman, just a message!" It was a neat church. And, although I was looking for a large congregation..this one may just be a little TOO big. It was like a small city inside!!! People running this way and that...hurrying around with not a soul to stop and talk...

After church I went to see Kyle, Jess and Chloe and then had dinner at Martine's. And since I had taken Monday off, I spent the night there rather than drive home late. Her little grandson was visiting...and we sure had a blast with him. Little Tristan is 14 months old...and CUTE!! And...the best part? I think he likes me!!! Ha!! Martine and Jeff's son Trevor is home from Iraq. So it was sure good seeing him too and Tristan's Mom and Dad...Taylor and Ashley. Keep looking...I'll post some photos of Martine and Tristan, but I don't have them downloaded yet.

I left Martine's late morning and drove to PA to visit Mom and Dad. Just felt like seeing them. It had been a while. We spent a nice day together. Went to Eagles for lunch, then later for dinner we had Kentucky Fried Chicken. Dad had suggested all kinds of restaurants, but that just hit the spot! So we ate at home and simply relaxed.

Finally I drove home and got back about 8 PM. Jazzy B was sure glad to see me. My poor cat, I could be a better friend to him. Next time...I should TAKE HIM ALONG!!!

Yesterday I had a make up metal class and spent the day working on my horse. The weather was crisp and a bit chilly, but Hugh started up the wood stove, so we could duck into the shop every now and then to get warm. I really made progress on my horse. He is still not finished...but is getting there. I'll be sure glad to bring him home. Maybe Saturday...