Through the Years...

Oh Boy! I've been puttering around here doing girl stuff...messing with my hair, my nails...you name it...just getting ready for the wedding. And I've been listening again to that sappy radio show--Delilah.

They just played that old Kenny Rogers song...Through the Years...and if my Kenny were here this weekend for Kyle and Jessica's wedding, I would dedicate this song to him. We have danced to this one many, many times and he always said it was "for me." So, this song and the words... will always have special meaning to me. Here they are:

I can't remember when you weren't there

When I didn't care for anyone but you

I swear we've been through everything there is

Can't imagine anything weve missed

Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the years, you've never let me down

You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found

I've found with you ... through the years

I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made

And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you

Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do

Who I trusted...whom I listened to before

I swear you've taught me everything I know

Can't imagine needing someone so

But through the years it seems to me

I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad

I knew how much we had, I've always been so glad

To be with you ... through the years

It's better everyday, you've kissed my tears away

As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you

Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong

Together we were strong, I know that I belonged

Right here with you ... through the years

I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out

I've learned what love's about, by loving you

Through the years

Through the years, you've never let me down

You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found

I've found with you ... through the years

It's better everyday, you've kissed my tears away

As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you

Through the years!

Oh...and Something More...

This song is perfect for today and I know Mom will love it! It's one of her favorites!! Sorry Mom if it makes you cry...me too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyx2n_p9OZ8

It's a New Day!!

This is the day the Lord hath made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Here I Go Again...

I was sitting here tonight feeling a bit glum. Don't ask me to explain; I can't really begin to explain it. I should be ecstatic with the wedding coming up and all, but surprisingly I'm feeling a little bit stressed...

Perhaps it's because I'm still trying to figure out a direction for my life. What am I supposed to do...what next? I don't know...but I still feel like I'm walking around in limbo.

Finally, I grabbed my dinner...it was past eight o'clock and I hadn't eaten yet. That's becoming a bad habit for me...eating my dinner way too late! I decided also to read a little and wanted it to be something purely entertaining...so instead of grabbing the Lincoln book, I returned to Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's a book I had started months ago...then in my usual "A.D.D." fashion, put it down with a bookmark half-way through it. So...I picked it up this evening and started reading right where I had left off before.

Interesting enough...here is some of what it says..."Prayer is a relationship, half the job is mine. If I want transformation, but can't be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I'm aiming for, how will it ever occur?"

Hm-m-m-m, interesting and timely. Of course!!!

And the author goes on to say, "Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship--a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence." And lastly and probably the most important sentence on the page, "And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."

And there you have it. I've said it over and over again about there being no coincidences in life. So it really doesn't surprise me that I picked up that book...and the paragraphs right before me were filled with such meaning for where I am today.

In summary, I'm reminded once again of the power of the mind...and its strength to be called upon to control one's emotions...and thoughts...and will. I know this to be true, because I've tapped into this power time and time again. And it works!! Now let me not forget to mention the power of prayer...it works too...I can attest to it!! My prayers have been answered over, and over and over. It's truly amazing...I just don't always remember to pray. That's my problem!!

So...I know I can shake this phase, as I always have...by prayer and by will. And I'll move forward and continue to embrace the positive experiences before me. I'll rejoice in each day. And I'll keep on putting one foot in front of the other, until I walk myself right out of where I am today and into a new, settled...joy-filled life.

Smooth sailing...

Happy Birthday Chloe-Bean!!

My littlest darling is six years old today!! Can you imagine??? She came into our life at two...and wow...where did the years go? Now she is SIX!!

I can easily recall the first time I met Jessica and Chloe. The four of us went out to lunch...me, Kyle, Jess, and our baby. We got a little lost on our way and ended up at some ethnic restaurant...somewhere in Virginia...I can't even tell you where we were...probably Arlington.

There was a big empty room next to our table...and Chloe toddled all around with me close by at her heels. She was wearing a pink little sweat suit...a fat diaper...and she waddled right along. It was not really a walk...and not quite a run. I can still see her...just as if it were yesterday!!!


Happy Birthday my sweet little Chloe. I LOVE YOU Baby...oops...I mean BIG GIRL!!! My little ROCK STAR!!!

Can't Sleep

I'm up; can't sleep. Not sure why, but it's frustrating. I suppose I have a lot on my mind...maybe that's it...not sure. But it's only a few hours before my alarm goes off and I'll have to start getting ready for work. Oh my, it will be a l-o-n-g day today!! Oh me...Oh my!!!

It's Wedding Week!

This is the beginning of wedding week. Kyle and Jessica are getting married next Sunday! Yahoo! How exciting. I will soon have a daughter and I'm loving it! And...of course a Granddaughter too! How lucky can I get?

I just finished moving the snaps and hooks on my dress. I couldn't actually try it on because there is no one here to zip me up. It's just another of the complications of living alone. I'll bet most men don't know they are valued so much for zipping up the back of our dresses!! HA! Now that's funny!!!

Now, I'm off to the stores. I've got some odds and ends errands to run. My head is spinning and I'm not really sure why because Jessica has everything for the wedding under control. She is the most organized bride I've ever known! Amazing!! And...I'm proud that she will soon be my daughter. Kyle could not have picked a more perfect girl to marry. I LOVE her!!

I've been thinking about Kenny a lot lately. And he would be so happy and proud that Kyle and Jessica are finally getting married. I know he will be there with us next Sunday, as will Jessica's Mom...Pam. I have no doubt, those two angels are looking down on these two with pride.



Kyle and Jessica are awesome parents. The best I've ever known. And there could not be a nicer, sweeter, kinder couple anywhere. That's my Kyle and Jessica!! I am so lucky. So very, very lucky indeed!!!

My Oh My!!

It's good to be here. And how weird is that? I go from home to home...and each time it feels good to be home!! I stopped off at my apartment when I arrived to drop off my suitcase and Jazzy B was waiting for me! I sat for a while with him...he jumped on my lap and started purring like crazy...and put his paw on my face. He missed me! My darling cat!! I LOVE him!!! It was really hard for me to go to work this afternoon. I didn't want to leave him again. But finally I headed out the door and made my way to the office. Spent a few hours there catching up on things. Getting ready for the meeting on Monday.

On my way home I stopped and had dinner...it was happy hour. And...I had a glass of wine and some food and met two guys who work at FAA. Next thing you know we were in deep discussion about the new air traffic management system we are installing over the next ten years. We got lost in conversation...and how nice! I didn't have to have dinner alone.

When I finally made it back to the apartment...Jazzy B was patiently waiting for me. He and I have spent a leisurely evening here in the apartment. It's a perfect Friday night...especially since I am SO tired!! Exhausted really!

I made a call to my friend Jackie (from high school). I hadn't talked with her in over a year...and she was so excited to hear from me. Weirdly enough, she and her entire family were here in Washington in July...and stayed about ten minutes away. Now that's frustrating. I haven't seen her parents and sister in a very long time and would have loved to see them!!! Her Mom and Dad will be in Ocean City in October, so I am hoping I can make a trip there to see her folks while they are here. They are retired and live near Jackie's sister in Arkansas.

Tomorrow is my metal apprenticeship with Hugh. I am excited to get back to my horse sculpture. Hopefully it will go pretty quickly and I'll have something to show soon.

I just talked with Kyle. We are coordinating last minute wedding plans. I can't believe the day is nearly here. I am so excited and so happy for them...and so proud. Kyle and Jessica are a perfect match. Much like me and Kenny were.

I can not wait to see my Danny and Randy. They will arrive Thursday and Friday this week. Randy has not seen Jazz in an entire year and Jazz is much bigger than he was when Randy left for Indiana. So...I can't wait for them to greet each other. It will be interesting to see if Jazz remembers Randy...but I'm guessing he will!!!

Life is Good!!!

Why Can't I Be a Kangaroo???

My whirlwind week here is finally coming to a close. I'm finishing my packing and getting the house whipped into shape. I catch a morning flight out of here. My darling Conda is taking me to the airport in the morning. I will be happy to have another chance to spend time talking with her before I leave.

The time here simply flew by...yet when I think of everything I've accomplished, seen, and done...well it's pretty amazing. I've managed to pack an awful lot into less than a week!!!

Today was a full day. I stopped at the office again and had my photo taken for my permanent badge. They even fingerprinted me...it's a new national I.D. system. But I won't be able to pick up the badge for at least another week. Then I headed North of the City to see an old friend. We had a nice lunch...then I was back on the road again to head home.

On my way here, I got a call that one of my dear work friends had been rushed to the hospital downtown by ambulance. Highly suspicious of a heart attack!! Oh my! So...of course...my trip home made a detour by way of the medical center. I had never been there before...so it took a little persistence to find my way to the emergency room. And it was sure NOT in the best part of town! But...I figure if I could make my way around Hopkins all those years...I could certainly manage my way around this hospital as well. I was vigilant...careful of my surroundings...and was extremely cautious.

My friend is doing fine, but they are keeping her overnight for observation. I sure hated leaving her there alone...but I had to get going and finish my packing for the morning flight. And I was anxious to get out of there...before it got too late.

After an hour and a half flight tomorrow, I will stop first at the apartment to drop off my suitcase. Then I will head into work. By the time I get to the office it will be well into the afternoon and I'll have a lot of catching up to do before I can leave for the weekend. I'm sure my Jazzy Boy will be thrilled to see me when I walk in that door!! And...it will soon be the beginning of another whirlwind week. Randy and Danny are arriving this Thursday. Melissa is coming into town tomorrow...and may be at my house over the weekend. It will be another jam packed and busy week leading into Kyle and Jessica's wedding. But, I know it will also be exhilarating! Lot's of fun, lots of family and friends. What could be better?

So of course...as I depart in the AM...I will be going with mixed emotions for sure. I am leaving some dear, dear friends behind...people I've grown to love...truly. And yet, I'm also returning home to people I love too...That's the dilemma. What a dilemma!!

I find that I am now torn between two worlds. And it's not easy. And so...I've been thinking. Why can't I be like a kangaroo??? LOL!! That way, I could hop around carrying close to me...all the people I love!! I could protect them and keep them warm...and hold onto them always. I'm just saying...Why Can't I Be a Kangaroo?

Busy Day Today

Got the door done. Sanded it and applied three coats of Spar Varnish. That should get it through the winter and then some...

I also finished caulking all the showers. Did some laundry, and staked up my "Little Shop of Horrors" plant. My Night Blooming Cerius that is...it's also known as Queen of the Night!! It's a member of the cactus family and it's a pretty ugly plant. But staking it up made it surprisingly attractive...well relatively so...for a Night Blooming Cerius... The flowers on this plant open only at night and they are awesomely beautiful...and fragrant. That's the only reason anyone hangs onto this gangly houseplant.

Staying up past midnight to see them bloom is certainly worth losing a little sleep over!!

Busy Day Today

I'm on my way to the hardware store. Need to get a sealer for the front door. Gonna do that while I'm here. Also, I have to pick up some paint for my bathroom bifold. I got the brilliant idea a few months ago to paint a scene on it...and there it sits...with nothing. Libby and I turned it around so the flush side would face out...it makes a perfect canvas. But it doesn't look so nice without the custom artwork. I'm trying to decide what to do about that too. And it gives me plenty to do today. I also need to finish caulking my showers. Busy, busy, busy day!!

It Was a Long Day

Good night all! I'm turning in. This day was filled to the brim. Tomorrow is destined to be the same. Lots to do...

Things are Moving Right Along

Got my tag sticker...finally! It was a bit of a hassle. I went to the DMV and found that my mail had been returned to them. It was in their "dead letter" box. I suppose not all my mail is being properly forwarded. At any rate, turns out I needed to do my car's emissions test before they could update my registration. So, I had to go all the way back home and get my car. I had driven Jen's.

The emissions test took about 40 minutes. I waited, and waited and waited. They are sure slow about things here. It never takes that long to get a car tested in Maryland!! Finally got 'er done, then headed back to the DMV for my sticker. All...the while watching my clock because I had to be back in time to meet with the builder about the ceiling leak.

I got home just in time...the builder and plumber were waiting out front for me. They had actually arrived a little early. But, thankfully they found the source of the leak right away. It was "no brainer." Turns out the shower drain had not been glued...so it just slipped down and allowed all that water to leak down into the wall. Crazy!! The former plumber was obviously the low bidder on the contract!!

They had to cut a hole in my family room ceiling to replace it. Now the drywall man and painter will be here tomorrow to continue with that part of the repairs. It should be finished in a couple days. Hopefully it will be good as new by Friday...

I'll Be Here a Little Longer

The plumber is coming tomorrow. They will take out my toilet and reset it...cut out the wall to be sure they've found the leak, etc. Then they will have to take care of the drywall downstairs and refinish and paint it. The guy seems to think they can get it all done this week. I sure hope so.

Coincidentally I found out today that my meeting tomorrow has been cancelled. How's that for perfect timing? So, I told them I would be here a few more days.

My friend Finn is going to continue taking care of Jazz for me. It's no problem she says. She will stop by after work and check on him. I owe her big time. She has cats too, so I'll be able to share "cat duty" when she goes out of town. She even bought Jazz a new ostrich feather and some toys to play with. That's Susan...a good cat person!! I've got the best friends!!!

Today I caught up with Conda in the AM. Then went to brunch with Rhonda. After I got home Jane stopped by and we talked for a while. Then I ran some errands with Jennifer. Stopped and picked up a few staples and things to eat while I'm here. I had planned on crashing in front of the TV this evening, but just as I was getting ready to heat up some food, Rhonda called and invited me to join her for dinner. So we went out for a steak. What a busy day!! In between all that, I was working here and there, unpacking and repacking clothes. Photographing Randy's artwork and pottery...working my way through the list of things I need to get done before I go home.

Tomorrow morning I'm going with Jen to the motor vehicles. I just realized I never got my sticker for my car tag...and I drove my car around yesterday without it. I'm lucky I didn't get a ticket. That would have been the icing on the cake!! I'll get it taken care of tomorrow so I won't have to worry. Boy, oh boy. There's just no rest for the weary!!

When it Rains it Pours...literally!!!!

Today things were chugging along just fine. By mid morning, I decided to figure out what to do about getting the car started. I remembered seeing a roadside assistance sticker in the trunk of my car. But I wasn't sure I had that service since it was a pre-owned reconditioned vehicle. I figured it was worth a simple phone call to find out. Well low and behold, they said they would send a mechanic out within the hour. No charge! How cool is that! Problem solved!!!

While I was waiting for the guy to arrive, my neighbor Jen stopped by. We were busy catching up on things, when suddenly she jumped up from the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. "Hey I just got dripped on." We looked up and the ceiling was wet...a whole section about two yards long, right at the drywall joint was leaking. All along the tape line...water was dripping from the ceiling. Instantly, I thought, "Dag Kenny's not here to repair that drywall! No one will be able to fix it as good as Kenny."

Jen and I both ran upstairs. The whole way up I was muttering to myself, "Did I leave the sink or tub running? Did I start the washer...and it's leaking? What's going on???" But, nothing...Jen and I found nothing upstairs to explain the leak.

We both ran back downstairs, she called her husband Jon and he ran over from next door. We moved my green sofa out of the way and I ran to find some buckets...anything to catch the water. Upstairs again...downstairs...finally I found a bucket sitting on the basement stairs and I also grabbed a big plastic bin. I put them both under the leak to catch the drips. I moved my rug out of the way too. Oh Good grief!! Just when I thought things were going well.

About twenty minutes earlier I had taken a shower upstairs. It had to be that...leaking somehow. I looked up the phone number of the plumber who had been here about a year ago and fixed my other leak. That time, several walls had to be cut out and repaired as well as some of the hardwood floorboards. They had to be replaced, sanded, stained and finished. It was a huge mess in the house for several weeks. Oh Good Grief!!

The plumber told me he no longer works for the builder (hm-m-m, I wonder why??), but he gave me advice about what might be causing the leak. And he told me to call the builder, because he said it's still under warranty. While I was talking with him, Jen ran over to the sales office for me. They called their plumber who told us to turn off the toilet and not use the shower...but they won't be here until Monday. That's the day I leave to go back home. Thankfully, Jen said she would work with them to get it fixed for me. I even thought about staying a few more days...but I left Jazz at home so I really can't do it. Also, it's so close to Kyle and Jessica's wedding, I need to get home!!

Oh Good Grief!!! Just when I think I've got one problem solved...another one pops up. Maybe this is another sign that points me in the direction of an apartment or condominium. Could it be that I just don't need this hassle anymore? Hm-m-m, not sure if this is the kind of sign I prayed for, but I'm cataloguing it in my brain for future consideration. But not today...it's not a decision I need to make today.

All in all, I'm wondering about these continuous challenges I face. Perhaps this is just one more to be sure I've mastered "perseverence." To remind me to keep things in perspective...to brush off the things that aren't serious...to keep in mind it's just a house...and this is not a life or death situation. This place is still under warranty and besides I have homeowner's insurance. But it sure is a pain. A major, major pain. And as usual...I sure miss my Kenny. Oh...Bad...Grief!!! Bad, Bad Grief!

I'm Home!!!

In my usual fashion...it's been a whirlwind day. Rhonda picked me up at the airport, we went straight to lunch because my flight was late arriving and we were both starving. After lunch we stopped at the Regional Office and I made the rounds saying hi to folks. It was definitely a "skeleton crew" for a Friday. Not too many people were there, but it was good to see the few that I did.

After a ton of paperwork, I managed to get my new badge. I had lost mine the other day on the mall, so I had to make another security notification etc. etc. etc. But, finally I've got a new one...and the photo is a whole lot better than before. I asked her to shave off a few years...and by golly, I think she did!!

Rhonda and I were finally on our way home by way of the car wash and then we decided to stop for a manicure and pedicure. That's what I really like about Rhonda...she is spontaneous and happy to do things on the spur of the moment...just like me! We get along famously. We finally got done there and started home. We stopped at the grocery store for a few staples since my cupboards here are bare.

About six o'clock I finally, finally got to my home! And boy it felt good to walk in that door. I LOVE this place, I absolutely LOVE this place. And..therein lies the problem...It feels like home here and I love how my furniture fits this place...and I love my stuff. Not that any of it is valuable..because it's certainly not, but it sure is special. It has real sentimental value to me. Wow! I love it here. It feels good to be home.

A few minutes ago, I ran out the door to head to Rhonda's. We are going to some dance place near her house. But...there's a minor complication...my car won't start. I suppose I should have had Jane starting it and driving it for me...but I didn't. So...Rhonda's on her way to pick me up. I'll have to tackle the car problem tomorrow. I'm guessing it's just the battery. I think we have a charger in the basement, so I'll have to figure that out in the morning. I've never charged a battery before. But, I'll have to get it fixed, because I sure want to be able to take my car for a little spin while I'm here.

On My Way Home

Well I'm just about ready to go. I'm all packed; hopefully I haven't forgotten anything. It will be a busy three days there. I have so much to do. Dan needs me to find some stuff for him, Randy needs me to photograph his pottery and I've got a few things of my own to take care of. Plus, I have friends to see there. Talk about being torn. It is really hard to love two places so much!!

On my way to my apprenticeship last night I stopped at the Greene Turtle for a bite to eat. While there I ran into a guy...turns out, he's widowed too. We were just casually chatting for a while...then he told me he lost his wife in February. I stopped dead in my tracks. Didn't know what to say. For a minute or so, I said nothing...just dropped my jaw and stared. Then I told him about Kenny and well we both went from happily chatting to talking in a somber, slow-paced, mellow way. And it happened in an instant. I said, "It's six months for you, I'll bet it's hitting you really hard about now." He looked like he was choking back tears and just shook his head, "Yes." I know...I get it. Boy it's hard.

We both recovered pretty quickly, then started speed talking--mostly about other things. I told him about my metal work. He said he has done pottery and said he would send me some pictures. Yes, I now have another friend in my "Widowed" club. It's not a savored society.

What is Courage?

I’ve had a lot of people say I have courage. And it strikes me as puzzling. I can’t see it myself. I see determination, but not necessarily courage. So it’s something I think about a lot. What is courage? What is it really?

Yesterday when I was walking through the metro, I saw a guy strolling along tapping his white cane side to side in front of him. Yes, he was blind and he was walking through that bustling metro with only the sound of footsteps and his tap-tap-tapping to guide him. And I thought to myself…now THAT’S courage!!

I can’t imagine doing that! It would be so scary. I thought about it last night and I’ve thought about it more this morning as well. And really, the more I think about it…the more I wonder if courage might be quite different than we realize.

For me, the reasons so many people say I have courage, is simply because I responded to a tough situation and came up with solutions. Everything I’ve done, like finding a job that could provide insurance for Ken’s transplant, working hard to move up in my career so I could support our family…and all that… It was not really a matter of courage at all. It was a matter of necessity, a matter of survival. I didn’t see that I had a choice to do anything else.

What should I have done? Or could I have done? Sit around and feel sorry for myself? Become a financial burden to the rest of my family and my friends? To me, courage is what causes a person to run into a burning building to save another’s life. I didn’t have to do that. There’s a distinct difference.

Instead of having courage, I believe I have determination and perhaps a bit of pride. I simply didn’t want to become a burden to anyone. As it is, my family’s struggle changed the face of all of our lives, for me, my family and my friends. It was hard enough on everyone…and I didn’t want to make it any harder. In fact, I was compelled to make life as “normal” under the circumstances, as I possibly could, especially for the boys.

So I think it must be the same for other people who are faced with significant challenges…like those who are blind. Do they really have courage? Is that what allows them to maneuver through the busy and dangerous streets unseeing? Or is it necessity?

Could it be that they have no choice…they are determined to make a life for themselves and their families in spite of their circumstances. Instead they are guided through life by a sense of determination and pride? That’s what I think. It’s a matter of living. And most of us just keep on living in spite of our challenges.

I'm Almost Ready

Spent most of the day making flight arrangements, preparing reimbursement vouchers and applying for a new badge. I lost mine yesterday at lunch...somewhere on the mall. But getting through the associated databases today...well, I experienced my share of red tape!! They are slow and cumbersome. Not an efficient use of my time. There MUST be an easier way. Oh woah is me!!

At any rate, I got home tonight and starting packing things up to take back South. Essentially all of my summer clothes are crammed into my largest suitcase. Not much else to do, I'm about ready to go. I only have to decide whether to drive to work tomorrow to head right to my metal apprenticeship...or come home first. But...even though I would have to pay parking, I think I will drive to work tomorrow. That would be so much easier than running home first after work.

I can't wait to work on my horse sculpture tomorrow night. I took Hugh's advice and worked out my idea in cardboard last night. I traced five horseshoe shapes, cut them out and stapled them together. And, I think it's gonna work just fine. I may even try to make him into Bobble Head. I think I might just be able to do that too. Perhaps...pretty soon...Lasso Lucky will have a pal!!

I May Be Headed Home!

Gonna check flights this morning and I may head home for the weekend. Yeah! It's all gonna work out because Hugh asked me to come over tomorrow night for metal class rather than Saturday. So, I'll have Saturday free. I need to get home so I can swap out my summer clothes for winter clothes, get my coat and a few other things while I'm there. So tonight I've got to pack up my largest suitcase with all the stuff I need to take home and leave there.

And I'll have to fly back EARLY Monday morning because I have a meeting here in the mid morning on Monday. So, it's gonna be a whirlwind trip. I've already talked with Rhonda and she will pick me up at the airport. I can't wait to hug her and Conda and Jennifer!! And it will be good to see the folks in the office down there. I'll make the rounds to see everyone. Phew...so much to do, so little time! Good grief...so much for being tired!!

It's Another Day...

Just another day; about the same as yesterday. I'm really having to push myself out the door this morning. I think I need a vacation. Haven't had one in at least two years...probably longer. I'm tired. More like exhausted...yeah that's it, I'm exhausted. Just simply exhausted!!

Can't Sleep...

I'm up, can't sleep. Checking email and facebook. Not much going on. Lonely here. Tomorow will come too early...

More of NYC

Here are a few more photos of fabulous New York City. What an amazing place. My last night there, Sylvia and I were up well after midnight...even though we were bone tired and had promised each other we would turn in early.



We saw St. Patrick's Cathedral where John and Jackie Kennedy were married. We went inside...and it was beautiful. They were right in the midst of a choir practice. So I got a nice photograph. I took this one for Priscilla...because I knew she would love it!

On our way to dinner, we stopped first and did a little shopping. We had dinner again on restaurant row. It's hard to beat those quant little places. After dinner we decided we just had to get closer to downtown so we could see the Twin Tower Memorial Lights. So, we hopped on the subway and road about eight stops to get there. We got off a few blocks shy of ground zero. We decided to stop short of the World Trade Center stop so that we would be able to see the full range of the lights as they reached up to the sky.









We climbed up out of the station and there they were, directly in front of us. It was a touching sight. We figure for us, seeing the lights which they only project on September 11th, well it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Who knows when I'll be back in the city again, but certainly it won't be on 9/11.


We took a few photos then hopped right back on the subway to get to our hotel. By that time of night the downtown area was pretty desolate and we didn't think it was smart to linger there long. So, we got going pretty quick. And, I still had to pack up because we were catching a taxi the next morning at 6:15.

The next day I had blisters on both feet from all the walking we did!! Yes, it was a whirwind trip of New York. We crammed as much into the week as we possibly could, but all in all, it was one that recalls to mind a week full of fun moments.

Fun Day in Old Town!

Lisa and I walked around Old Town Alexandria today in the hundred degree heat! Man it was hot, but we sure enjoyed the artsfest. There were some fabulous artists there. It had everything from caste metal, to found metal sculpture, to paintings, beatiful jewelry and wood work.




We finally stopped for lunch in an Irish place...we were looking for anyplace with air conditioning, but we both had a delicious salad and chased it with a beer. It was a perfect combination for a hot, sweaty day.

Neither of us bought anything at the show. The art was pretty expensive...but well worth the prices, because it was really good stuff. Not kitsy...truly art! I could have purchased a half dozen things if I thought I had some spare bills. But...I don't. It did give me some ideas for artwork though. And has me itching to do more than just the metal sculpting. Not sure how I would carve any more time out of my days...but I would really like to think about doing some paintings. Hm-m-m, we will have to see about that!!

Here is Sardonicas!!

No, I didn't make him!! It's Hugh's piece. He keeps Sardonicas in a local tatoo parlor (of all places) and he brought him to the shop for me to see! Isn't he awesome??!!

This is my favorite piece so far. I can't explain why exactly... Probably because it is so unusual, so creative.

Sardonicas's neck is made of bent wrenches. Inside his skull is a hot water spicket, so you have to look down inside to see it.

On the back is an ignition switch and a key...it's as if you can turn him on...turn on the hot water in his brain to get him wagging that big textured tongue. Get it? Sardonicas?


















I find that I am metal obsessed. Last week I was walking around New York City, constantly studying the street grates, the railings, the fences...checking out the fabrication and the design.


After all...the city is made of steel. Its cluster of buildings are a monument to the generations of steelworkers who built the city!





Yesterday, on the way home from my apprenticeship, I found myself scanning the roadside for discarded metal.

I'm sure...it sounds a bit crazy!! And...I did see some hubcaps, then wondered how I would get back to the middle of that highway that snakes across the Potomac River to pick them up? It's an obsession!

But this metal work definitely is growing on me. Initially it was not exactly what I had wanted to learn...I would like to take a foundry class too where you first sculpt something in wax or clay and then pour hot melted bronze into it to displace the form and create a casting. But...now I'm hooked on blacksmithing!

There is just something magical and challenging about making a sculpture from a seemingly "unbendable" hunk of steel. There is just no way to explain how cool it is when you are able take a firey hot piece of metal and twist and bend it like putty. It's a combination of the power and a little about the fear of working with metal that is 1600 degrees. But, when you pull it off, when it's cooled and solid again...well it's immensely rewarding.

Yesterday I began working on my horse. It's going a bit slowly because it's an original design. I'm really not sure how it's going to work, but I'm taking my time and working it out. In fact, Hugh has suggested that I use a piece of cardboard to make into a horsehoe shape so I can bend it and put it together to see how the design works. Good idea. I may do that at home this week so I can try it out. Mistakes are timely and costly when it comes to steel!

While I was working on my horse yesterday, Hugh finally got to work on one of his projects. So we spent the hours just tooling around the shop together....occasionally doing a little dance to get out of each other's way. I am feeling like a pro now with the tools...it's nice to not feel quite so apprehensive of the machinery. Although, I will ALWAYS keep a good respect of the equipment because it is all potentially DANGEROUS!!

While we worked, we had our music going again and listened to a range of things from opera to church hymns. That's what I like about Hugh...he is interested in lots of different music and subjects...just like me. The only one I avoid with him is politics...his views are the opposite end of the spectrum from mine. So, I respect that his opinions are different, and I ignore his occasional sarcastic comment. I would rather not go there...and risk marring our time together with controversial discussions or disagreements. With exception of that, nearly everything else about him, reminds me a lot of myself. Except...that HE is BRILLIANT...absolutely brilliant...and I would never put myself into that category!!

I did manage to nick myself on the rotary wire brush yesterday. I held my piece too close to the end and it slipped off...allowing my pinky to hit the spinning brush. I have a nice brush burn..more like a small bloody gouge on my left pinky finger. I won't be doing that again. In fact, next time I will wear those big leather gloves. Even though I enjoy this work, I would still like to keep looking like a girl. I don't want my hands and arms to be gouged and knicked and scarred. Hugh said it was a good thing for me to learn...a small knick rather than a big one. Yep! That's for sure!!

Jazzy Boy was happy to see me yesterday. He had stayed at my mother in law Ferne's while I was in New York. I know he is happy there, he makes himself at home and she is fine with that! She doesn't even shoo him off her kitchen counter...instead she gives him full reign of the condo. But regardless, I think he really missed me. She said she would occasionally see him sitting by the front door while I was gone...just waiting for it to open.

Yesterday when I walked in, he came flying when he heard my voice. Jazz sprang off the counter and ran over to greet me...with his tail bushed out behind him. He even gave me a big meow!! I picked him up and cradled him in my arms...as I always do. He put his head on my shoulder and leaned into my hug. I stood there for quite a while rocking back and forth and talking to him. He made no attempt to jump down. He just snuggled in my arms and began to purr. What a cat! He's my Jazzy Boy!!

Class is over...

It was a great week here. We got our certificates today and the University congratulated us with Champagne and a small buffet. That was a nice touch! The sessions this week were superb, especially today and yesterday in conflict negotiation. This young guy, our class instructor, is often called upon to facilitate negotiations in the war-torn middle east. He started out doing the same kind of work in maximum security prisons. What a place to hone your skills!! He said, "Prisoners have their own unique way of communicating!" And...guess what? He really knows his stuff!! It's cool to see that such a young guy has mastered such valuable life-skills.

Today Sylvia and I said our goodbyes to our classmates and dragged our bodies back to the hotel. We plan to take it pretty easy tonight, but we do know they will have those memorial lights at Ground Zero this evening. Apparently we will be able to see them from anywhere in the City, so I am glad I will be here to pay my respects. I also plan on capturing it for my family by taking a few photos.

Our meeting this morning started with a moment of silence in remembrance of 9/11. It was a somber moment for all of us. Most of the people in the room could reflect on their part of the situation on that dreadful day. In fact, one guy had actually been on duty at Cleveland Center; Flight 93 was in that airspace when the plane was overtaken by the terrorists. So those controllers were "hands on" throughout the high jacking and heard the flight commotion, the voices, the struggle.It was horrible for them; they felt so helpless watching it and hearing it unfold, with nothing they could possibly do except divert other flights...keeping them safely out of the plane's path.

I was at Headquarters that day and it even brings back some terrifying moments for me as well. Like trying to get out of the City while knowing a third plane was inbound. All I could think of was getting home to protect Kenny and my boys. I also knew that I could not risk being lost in that unfolding tragedy...because my family still needed me...they were all so dependent on me then. I knew the boys would lose their father some day...I needed to be there to help them through it. So they were all my priority on September 11Th. Once I knew they were safe and DC was relatively safe too, then I became a part of the tactical response team. I headed back into that City and spent the weekend at work and many evenings there as well.

I'm guessing, the remainder of this evening will be filled mostly with pensive moments and reflection.

Happy Birthday Lisa!!!!

Today is Lisa's Birthday...and how strange is it that I am here in NY on September 11th? I hope she is doing something really fun today and I wish I was back in Leesburg to help her celebrate.




Here is a photo of both of my sisters, Lisa and Libby. And yes, they are "yucking it up" and as usual, I managed to capture Lisa with her eyes shut! Happy Birthday my dear Lisa!! Enjoy your day!!! Let's celebrate when I get home!! I LOVE YOU!!

Too Late to Blog...

Went to another play tonight with my three lady friends. We saw Hairspray. And it was pretty darn good! On our way we stopped at a roof top hotel for drinks. It had a great view of the City and was a hang out for the "see and be seen crowd." Normally you have to wait for a table, but the four of us together are just bold enough that we walked right in and seated ourselves. Somehow it worked! We got a table right over top of 5th Avenue just as the sun was setting on the harbor. Yes, serendipity worked in our favor. After the play, we grabbed a taxi and headed to a famous icecream shop: It is called Serendipity. How appropriate is that??!!

We also managed this evening to stumble on the opening of a movie; it's the one with DeNiro and Pacino. They had the street blocked off and body guards were all along the avenue, with large wooden screens to shield the stars from onlookers. No worries, we crossed over that street like we knew what we were doing...walked right past all the guards and ended up on the red carpet where cameras were flashing to capture them all as they walked in. We saw Rascal Flats and others...there was one man who looked really familiar, but I just couldn't place him. He was an "oldish" guy with gray hair pulled back in a pony tail. I'll think of his name one day. That was a cool moment, but we couldn't linger too long because we were already calling it close to get to the theatre. We were torn between staying a little longer and getting to the show on time. Finally, as the minutes ticked away to show time, we scurried off to make our way to 52 and Broadway.

After the icecream shop we joined the "two Jeffs" at the little pub on the corner by the hotel. They had spent their evening there while we were perusing NY. Obviously they would rather put their money into getting to know the locals than taking in the sights and talent of the City. Boy did they have stories and "theories" to tell by the time we arrived well after midnight.

Finally...by 1AM, I had reached my limit of fun for one day. I've been out too much, too long, for too many nights this week. But, as much as my body says, "Lucy you're tired," my brain counters it with, "Who knows when you will be back in NY again." It may be a very long, long time. So...I can't help but cram as much into being here as I possibly can. You only go around once!! Who knows, I may never be this way again...

It's Fronk-in-steen!!!!

Tonight I saw my first ever Broadway play, Young Frankenstein. Oh my gosh! I can't even describe how funny it was! Over the top. Fabulous, fantastic and fantacular. Is that a word? "Walk this Way, It's Fronk-in-steen, and He's my boyfriend." But my favorite part of all was "Puttin' on the Ritz." How side-splittingly hilarious!!

The theatre itself was beautiful; it's an old ornate beauty with a huge velvet padded medallion on the ceiling and balconies surrounding the seating area. The acting was amazing, the set design was unbelievably beautiful, the singing and choreography was exciting and the effects were Wow! There were flashing lights and pyrotechnics. It was just incredible. But even better than all that...I sat there through the entire show...with a Cheshire Cat grin on my face. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing...heartily out loud!!!

We stopped after work at the box office and picked up our half price tickets. Mine was $62 dollars and it was well worth every penny. I sat in the orchestra section only about twelve rows from the stage. I went with Sylvia and Antoinette. And their other friend Deb arrived today. Sylvia and Antoinette are both from Ft. Worth and Deb is from Lancaster, PA. They all met years ago as neighbors in Oklahoma. I told them I had grown up there too...so later we all raised a glass to "Okie Girls." Up until this week they were all complete strangers to me...but now we are great friends.

After the theatre we headed to restaurant row on 46Th street. By then we were starving and we picked out a little Italian restaurant. We almost didn't get a table, but they found us one upstairs, outside on the balcony overlooking the street. And it was PERFECT! Right out of a dream. Once again, the four of us ate more than we planned...and stayed out much later than is wise. Sylvia and I will have a tough day staying awake in class tomorrow!!

New York, New York!

It was a whirlwind day! I met up with Jeff, Jeff and Sylvia at the airport. Yes, that's right TWO Jeff's!! How funny is that? We took a taxi to the hotel, got checked in and headed out at 3PM for a late lunch. None of us had eaten and by then Sylvia's friend Antoinette had joined us too.

We ended up at an Asian restaurant and had a combination of several platters, plus sushi. It was a beautiful place with cool lanterns dimley lit throughout the restaurant. After lunch we split up. Sylvia and Antoinette were insistent on buying purses in China Town...which is just not my cup of tea. So, I set out with the two Jeffs. We could see the Empire State Building from our hotel and I suggested we go there to see it up close and view this fantastic city from the observation deck.

I remember Chip and I talking about the Empire State building when we were just little kids and I've always wanted to see it. So, I was happy that I was able to talk the guys into going. We walked, and walked and walked. What seemed to be just a few blocks from the hotel turned out to be more like ten. But it was well worth it. By evening the crowds were not too bad. And it was a clear night so we could see the entire City-- the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, the Chrysler Building, Trump Tower, and the United Nations to name just a few...

By dusk we headed back to the hotel and I'm guessing we walked at least twenty blocks all told. My feet are killing me! I forgot that it's always a good idea to bring several pair of shoes for big city walking. My poor feet. I only have two pairs with me and neither are good for long distances. What was I thinking??!!

OK, true confession...the highlight of my evening was a Kodak Moment with a couple young guys from the FDNY. Yes, they were good looking...but that was overshadowed by just knowing their strength and courage. These two guys will charge into a flaming building without a bit of hesitation to save people's lives.

This evening we joined back up with Sylvia and Antoinette and went for pizza and a beer. There was a little place around the corner that we had passed by on our way home...and the smell was heavenly. So we hunted for it this evening...and VOILA, after a bit of a search, we finally found it!! We got pizza, calzones and beer and wine and were so lost in conversation that we closed the joint. It was well after eleven when we headed back to the hotel.

And now I am sitting here waiting for building maintenance to arrive. There is no hot water in my shower. I've tried the hot setting, I've tried the cold setting, but with no luck. And I've also let the water run for at least twenty minutes in each direction. I'm pretty sure I will NOT want to take a cold shower at 6AM. But I hope they arrive soon, because I sure am tired!!!

On My Way to NY

I'm here at National Airport just waiting for my flight to New York. I am taking a course this week at Columbia University and I can't wait to be back in the Big Apple again. I've fallen in love with New York City. I finally understand why people love it so. It's beautiful, busy and bustling with people. A nice change for me. Years ago I didn't think much of New York, but that' s because Kenny and I had visited there under some very trying circumstances. He was very ill and it was the dead of winter. Also we didn't have a penny to our name and New York City can be very depressing under those conditions.

We had been invited as guests on the Live with Regis and Kathie Lee show to talk about organ donation. Ken was waiting for his first liver transplant. We were only in the City for two days total, but the second day we had to check out of our hotel and had several hours to kill before we could leave for the airport. We walked around the streets of NY...freezing...and just looking for a place to sit and stay warm. We also had to find something we could afford to eat. That was an even bigger challenge.

Kenny and I just shuffled along the windy streets and we would constantly duck into a store or office building just to warm up or take a break. Ken was so ill that he was literally exhausted, so it was an extremely tough situation. We were both so happy when we finally boarded that plane to go home. I'm pretty sure we told the entire world we would never step foot in NY again!

So, it's interesting now to see the city under completely different circumstances. Today I can afford to eat where I want, and I get to stay in a nice hotel. Also the weather is awesome this time of year. This week I'm staying at Times Square so that should be a whole new experience for me. It's a little busier there than where I stayed before. I'm meeting some colleagues from Texas at the airport so I won't have to worry about catching a taxi myself to the hotel. And, these folks are great fun. So I'm sure it will be an awesome week!!

Unknown Burdens

My brother and I were exchanging emails this morning and he sent me some great quotes that led me to remembering an experience from my own life. I've decided to share it...so here it is:

***

I remember years ago, not long after Ken was diagnosed with his liver disease things were really starting to pile up on us. His insurance had canceled him, he needed to sell his business and quit working, and I needed to find myself a job...one with insurance, so Kenny could be eligible for a liver transplant.

Needless to say we were in a real pickle...financially and otherwise. I was under extreme stress, scared for Kenny, scared for me and scared for our three boys. They were just little guys in those days. Randy our youngest, was only four. And all I could think of is, "How am I gonna pull this off? I've got to come up with a solution to solve these many problems."

I went out shopping one Saturday, by myself. It was Christmas time so I went to the Zayres Discount Store in New Carrollton to get some things for the boys. Under the circumstances, I had already begun pinching pennies very hard. After I finished my shopping, I headed out of the store, but I was in a bit of a trance...just walking along. My thoughts were a million miles away. I was not the least bit aware of what was going on in the world around me.

When I stepped through the door I was jolted by a situation unfolding before me. A little boy had held open the door...and I had just walked through it without seeing him and without saying a word. The little boy was black. And he couldn't have been more than five years old.

I had not been aware of his kindness and had not said thank you. Instead of his Mother reinforcing his sweet behavior, she screamed loudly at her son, "Don't you ever hold open the door for any white woman again!"

The woman's hateful words snapped me out of my fog. And I was shocked. I realized she had no idea that I had been lost in my thoughts or that I was carrying a significant burden around with me that day. Instead, it appeared that I hadn't cared, that I hadn't appreciated her son's kind gesture. She probably thought I had taken him for granted...or felt that I was entitled to his servitude.

The boy recoiled from his mother's screaming and his face dropped to a puzzled frown. Immediately, "I said, Oh my! I am so, so sorry." While I leaned down to look into the boy's face and back at his mother's, I said, "Thank you, thank you, for holding the door for me," But it was too late. The perception of me was set...and the negative lesson had been taught. She grabbed her son's hand and marched him away.

I found myself wanting to run after her so I could explain that my husband was dying and I didn't know what to do. But the woman had spewed such hate at me and her son, that I figured there was nothing I could say that would make a difference. I doubted she would hear my words and perhaps she wouldn't even care of the tragedy that was rocking my world.

As I headed to my car, tears of frustration fell from my cheeks. I felt so badly for that little boy and I was also embarrassed by the scene, especially that anyone would think that I could be rude and uncaring. I had also felt the sting of discrimination. In that quick moment I had felt what it's like...and it felt bad. I'm guessing that Mother had grown up feeling that same sting over and over, and over again. And so even though I didn't like her reaction, I understood it.

But, I could tell that the little boy hadn't understood a thing. He was too young to know. And he had looked at me in such a way that I could read the shock on his face. He had just been trying to do something kind and it had backfired on him. His Mom's screaming had brought on a look of both sadness and fear.

I found myself thinking of that situation and that little boy for the rest of the day and beyond. I've thought back on that moment many times throughout my life. And I've wished over and over that I could have seen it coming and could have prevented it from happening. In fact, in recalling it now, I wonder where the boy is today. He would now be a young man. I wonder...what he has become? Did he have a good life? Did he grow up surrounded by love or had he grown up learning to hate? And I wonder what he thinks of white women today? Or white people in general. And how many times has he experienced others discriminating against him? And hopefully if he has, those harsh lessons have taught him tolerance and understanding...rather than hatred.

For me, it's the day that I realized that one should NEVER jump to conclusions about people's behavior and why they act as they do. You just never know the burdens or experiences a person is carrying. You never know the stress that could prevent them from behaving as you might expect...based on what is REALLY in their heart.

That one kind, innocent, gesture and the reaction to a perception has remained a powerful lesson for me. You never know the burden other's are carrying...you just never know... We must always remember to extend people a little grace and perhaps always question our own negative perceptions.

Thoughts for Today

This Photo is worth repeating! I am one VERY lucky Mom! Here's my Kyle, Jessica and Chloe

I can't take credit for the following quotes... I "borrowed" them from my friend Brad's website. But, not too surprisingly, they fit my own philosophy on life. No wonder Brad and I are kindred spirits!!


Be Kind

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
-Mark Twain

Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.
-James M. Barrie

I Weathered the Storm

Here's Hugh Demonstrating a Technique

I wasn't sure if I would make it the the metal shop today...but I ventured out and actually the tropical storm was not too bad. The only downer is that it was extremely humid working outside under just a porch roof...and I was wearing jeans and boots today. So I was miserably hot. It was probably the hottest day working there so far.

I didn't make anything in particular today. No horse for my cowboy. Instead I learned a little more about hammering and shaping steel. I started with a railroad spike, cut off the knob shaped end. Then heated it up in the metal furnace. It's the first time we've used the oven since I've started my lessons. Previously I had used the acetylene torch to heat things up, but this time I worked on several different pieces of metal at once...so we lit the oven.


Just Look at This Blazing Hot Inferno!!

I heated the railroad spike to a fiery red, then Hugh and I worked together to score the spike on each side. We pulled it out of the oven using long-handled tongs, and set it on the anvil. Then he would hold the chisel in place...say go...and I would strike it with a large hammer. Each time, he would move the chisel a little further, say go, and I would strike it again.

We continued in this way until we had scored the spike lengthwise on all four sides. Then I heated it again, put it in the vice, attached a two handled wrench...and turned it several times while it was hot to make it into a spiraled piece. Next, I hammered the end into a chisel. Now, I can use it for a wood chisel or a large screw driver...and it's a pretty neat looking piece. The best part? I made it myself!!

I also heated up a couple pieces of re bar and twisted them. First I twisted them one way, then heated them again, turned them around and twisted them from the opposing end. By doing so, the ridges in the re bar made a cool cross hatch pattern. Next I heated one of the re bar pieces again, and hammered the end into a circle.

I can't think of any purpose for my hook shaped piece of re bar, but it gave me practice in shaping steel. I was just learning to use the anvil and learning to strike metal over a mandrill to perfect the circle shape. A mandrill is a large cone shaped piece of steel, and it's perfect for reaming out circles, or hammering metal into a circle shape of different dimensions.

So it was just another practice day for me, but the principles I learned today will lend themselves nicely to making sculptures. And now I'm really anxious to do something of my design. Perhaps next Saturday I can set off independently and REALLY be creative. I may start out making something totally abstract using scrap metal...or whatever else I find to inspire me!!

This week flew by!!

I can hardly believe today is Friday. My weekend is already planned to the max and I know it will also go by in a flash. I'm packing a bag this morning and I'm driving to work. I'll need to get out of work on time this evening and head straight for Annapolis to meet Pop and Colleen for dinner. There will be no time for me to go home first. This morning, I'll call Kenny's Mom to see if I can crash there tonight rather than drive all the way home...to turn around and drive back in the AM for my metal class. Phew! It makes me tired just thinking about it all.

I've left an extra bowl of water and an extra bowl of food for Jazzy B. No way to drag him along since I have to be in the office today. I'm pretty sure I would get kicked out of the building if I tried to sneak him in! Believe me...it has crossed my mind.

After metal work tomorrow I'm meeting Kyle and Jessica to do some more wedding planning. In fact, they may actually come home to my apartment. That would be nice. I still have some things to do here before I head to NY on Monday. Next week I'm taking a leadership course at Columbia University. I'm hoping my neighbor will be kind enough to feed Jazzy B for me next week while I'm in NY. Otherwise I will be headed back to MD on Sunday to drop him off at my mother in law's. My, oh my...so much to sort out!! I'm trying NOT to explode!! Keep it all together Luce...just keep it all together!! smile

Relationships

Wow! As I get older I continue to learn so much about relationships. And...here's what I know...they are a lot of work!! But, if they are worth the effort...well...they are worth the effort.

Funny! It's a whole lot easier NOT to care and NOT to take the time to work things out. But, frankly I do know that human nature is filled with miscommunication, misperception and fragile egos. And so in knowing that...I also know...relationships are ALWAYS worth the effort!!

That's why Kenny and I were able to stay married for 31 years. Not to say that it was always a blissful marriage and there were surely a lot of things I would do differently if given the chance. But, we loved each other and the relationship was worth every minute of the effort.

I remember in the early days I would insist on talking things out and he would just want to turn out the lights and go to sleep. But...I wouldn't let him!! I would say "Kenny, you have to talk with me!" And he would reluctantly oblige. Years later he confessed that he was glad that I pressed forward.

I believe it's the same with every connection...it's worth the effort, it's worth trying to understand someone else's perspective. Because after all, life is ONLY about relationships. It's only about people...nothing more. Yet, even I...at times grow weary of the effort it takes.

So where am I going with this? Forgiveness and understanding and courage...are the most important attributes of humankind. It's what gets people through the most difficult of life's circumstances. And in surviving the hard, hard challenges, we all become better people. We become stronger. We become more human and more able to give to others. After all, isn't that what life is all about?

It's September

How did it get to be September already? Time just keeps marching along and I am having a hard time keeping pace! My schedule is a killer one...but it's mostly fun, so I'm trying not to complain.

Jazz is next to me here as I type and he just stood up like a bunny rabbit...funny! He heard something in the hall and stretched up on his haunches to listen. I wish I had my camera. I'm sure you are dying to see at least one more cute photo of my Jazzy Boy!!

I'm sitting here with my coffee...contemplating going out the door. Some mornings are just harder to get jump started then others...but I'm counting down the minutes until I have to fly out of here! Then I'll hit the street, head for the metro and make my way through the sleepy crowd.

After work I've got errands to run. I'll stop at the dry cleaners, then pick up some dinner...then pay my rent. The usual chores. But when I get back here to the apartment tonight I'm going to CRASH! I just plan on taking it easy and while I do...I will work on a metal design. A friend suggested that Lasso Lucky needs a horse. What a great idea! And this time...the design will be one of my own creation!!

Dinner Tonight

My brother Chip picked me up after work tonight and we drove to my apartment. His son Jake was slammed with homework so he wasn't able to come along. But we finally heard from my other nephew Kevin; he got out of school about 5PM and jumped on the metro and met us here. We went to the local barbecue joint for dinner. How great it was to spend an evening with my brother and my nephew. We will have to make it a habit!!

Friday night my Dad and I are meeting my sister in law Colleen for dinner. We are going to a fabulous restaurant in Annapolis and hopefully we will be able to sit outside along the water. With any luck the weather will cooperate!

It has been a most challenging year for all of us since Kenny died, with lots of ups and downs. I am pleased to be able to put this year behind us and never dwell on it again. Once again, life is way too precious to spend in trepidation and turmoil. Ken would be wanting me to live life blissfully. And that's exactly what I intend to do. I am promising to ALWAYS remember to spread joy wherever I go.

My Teacher

OK, I was thinking today about Hugh, my metal sculpture teacher. I am in awe of this man! He is seventy-two, and he has totally devoted his Saturday mornings to teaching me to bend, shape, cut, hammer and weld iron and steel.

And not only that, but he will not allow me to give him a penny for my lessons. I am so amazed and feel so blessed. How does a person ever repay such a gift? I have no idea!!

I have been a big fan of his daughter Eva for years. Eva Cassidy has the voice of an angel and now she REALLY is an angel because she was taken from us way too soon. Just like my Kenny.

There are many things that Hugh and I simply leave unsaid...but somehow we know. We both know what we have experienced with our losses. That is our connection.

Every Saturday I arrive at Hugh and Barbara's at nine in the morning, and there he is, waiting for me and ready to begin. We spend about three and a half hours together...and so far it is ALL about me. Hugh gets little else accomplished while I am there, because he is so busy, so consumed with teaching me. He spends his Saturday mornings solely for my benefit. And to think that up until five weeks ago we were complete strangers! I continue to shake my head in amazement at such a selfless gift!!

Last weekend when I arrived I didn't see Hugh outside by the shop. Normally he is already there, ready to go, or else he is watering his plants by the river bank waiting around for me to arrive. This time, there was no sign of Hugh anywhere. But as I got out of my car...I could hear music...beautiful, melancholy music. And so I knew he was in his studio above the metal shop.

I ran upstairs and there he was...perfecting a piece that a friend of his had written. He said, "Do you want to hear a beautiful song?" And of course, I replied, "Sure!" With that he started playing his cello and it was a beautiful sound. He used a combination of plucking the strings and bowing them. I was entranced and I became lost in a moment with the haunting melody and lyrics of his performance. Imagine not only being a fabulous artist, but also being a fabulous musician as well. How does one person achieve such talent?

Hugh played a few songs, then he put down his instrument and we headed downstairs to get to work. As always it was the beginning of a great day.

I've learned so much from Hugh during our time together. And I believe this journey is more about the connection between two souls who have experienced so much heartache. It's the most important part of our friendship; the words unspoken that mean the most to me.

As we work through the heat of the day, music from an old radio carries us along...
and in that way, Hugh and I are a lot alike. I absolutely love music of all kinds and so does he. Often while he is sharing a CD of a friend's music, he will stop for a moment and call my attention to a particular song...as he sings along. Dah, dah, dah, deee, deeh deeeeh...lah, lah, lah lah. "Just listen to that melody," he will say. Or, "How about those lyrics? Isn't this a beautiful song?"


Invariably...half way through our lesson, as we are sweating and swatting at the flies that bite at our legs...here comes Barbara. She is a dear, dear soul. She is just the cutest, sweetest thing. She brings us a cold drink or a Popsicle to help cool us off from the heat and grime of sculpting metal. And she insists on always giving me a hug...even though I'm sweaty, and grimy and smelly from working out there in the hot, hot heat. But, she doesn't care...she is a sweet angel. Just as no doubt...is their daughter Eva.