Meet Mr. Shrek!

The Joan Dideon book is really amazing. I can see much of myself and my experience in her words. At one point she said she felt like she was "herding cattle," with the Doctors and nurses etc. Constantly drilling them with, shouldn't you check this, or shouldn't you verify that...or how about drawing such and such blood work for chance that this could be going on. I've been there myself.

The only difference is that she said at one point a doctor got annoyed with her and suggested that she "take over" the case. Luckily that was not my experience. Oh...perhaps every now and then there may have been some friction with the medical experts. But for the most part my relationship with the doctors, nurses and medical staffs over eighteen years at Hopkins grew strong and we developed a mutual respect for one another. In fact I believe we had formed a strong partnership determined to keep Ken alive for as long as we possibly could. They came to rely on my instinct and my insight into Kenny's symptoms and pursued many of my recommendations over the years. I can say with confidence we did everything we could for Kenny.

I've Earned the Right To Be a Little Crazy

The other thing that strikes me as I read Dideon's book is that she knew in her grief that the logical part and the emotional part of her brain were often out of sync. That's what I've experienced too. You can go right along and know something about how you feel or think is ridiculous, yet you feel it or think it just the same. And at times it seems a bit crazy! LOL!! But that too is a common sentiment of widows and widowers. So...I just try to laugh about it. And I've decided that I've earned the right to be a little CRAZY!!!! Besides I'm an artist too, so it's about time I shed my ultra responsible traits, my conservatism...and take on some of the typical artist personae. Yes...I've earned that too! So I may as well live up to my artist image. HA!

Along those lines, let me tell you about my Mr. Shrek! I picked him up a few months ago in Walmart. I was doing one of my midnight shopping therapy runs and there he sat on the clearance aisle, staring back at me. Not only was he cute...and was giving me a very sweet smile, but he is green, the color of my sofa and his outfit matches my decor too! So I brought him home with me. And don't ya know, Shrek is dapper sitting there on my sofa in his chocolate brown vest and matching boots. He looks particularly smashing against my cheetah print and raspberry silk pillows! My Mr. Shrek! My guy.

I was reading a little while ago...and sure enough Shrek was staring back at me. He was mesmerized...HA!! So I winked back at him. Needless to say, me and Jazz and Mr. Shrek will be taking that little road trip next week. Yep, my two buddies are going with me! Oh and my little pink poodle too!! Shelley gave me that when I left headquarters and he sits there on the end table next to Shrek. Crazy? Perhaps just a little and loving it!!!