Well I've finally figured out what it is...this funk!! It's biblical and who could dispute God? The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." And of course this surely applies to women too.
My helpmate is gone... So...no wonder I'm feeling as I do. I just can't get into the Holidays...even though I should be celebrating the birth of Christ. But all the hoopla that goes with it...I just can't do it this year. Sorry...I just can't do it...I just can't do it!!
For everyone else's sake, I'll try to keep putting on that happy face for you all...but I'm not happy inside. And I'm not looking for any sympathy so there's nothing that can help. It's just the way it is...it's how I feel to be stuck in this "Widow's World." So there you have it!!
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Cis, I happened to be reading the blog of an antique dealer that I sort of know (but not really)...anyway she apparently had taken a foster child and had to return the child several months ago. She wrote about a breakdown that she had recently, and I thought her description of the grief was so eloquent....
"I think what's happened is that I've entered a new stage of grief. And I think it is in this stage that someone could really disappear into the darkness of it all. As someone who has never really experienced any sort of depression, it's scary. I'm not depressed, clearly, but I am here standing at the mouth of a cave that has no end.
I know you are all pulling for me, and I just know you'll fill up the comment box with encouragement. I appreciate that. More than anything, I want to be honest with you about how I'm doing.
We will make it through this...we have to. And I think that's the key in all of this...we have to get through this. We have to walk right through this stage with all the strength we can muster. There's no shortcut and no easy way.
I can feel the hand of God on me, helping me through. He expects us to get through it so that we can go on and help others.
Rich is having a hard time too. He doesn't really care to share his personal details on the blog, and I try always to respect that. But he's hurting deeply. We both need your prayers.
We are going to see Baby in less than 2 months for his second birthday. And we do ocassionally visit him by webcam. He seems to be doing well, adjusting to his new life fairly well.
Goodness, but do we miss him." Amy Powers, on her blog inspireco.blogspot.com
P.S. Go to the blog and read the comments to Amy's post. Some beautiful advice there.
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