No I Can't Tell Him...

After the Summit ended about Noon today, I went to lunch with my friend from Seattle. I hadn't had chance to talk with her all week, we had both been going in different directions. She is Dan's "other Mother," one of the women we had dinner with when we were out there a few months ago. She has my same job out West and we've become really good friends in the last year and a half. We talked about how things were going in her job and mine...we had lots to catch up on since I've been gone.

After lunch, we parted our ways and I jumped on the Metro to get back to work. I had to change trains and when I did, a man started talking with me. He was just making small talk and heaven knows I have no problem speaking with strangers. He said he was heading home and I said, "Wow, that's nice, I'm going back to work." He commented that he gets up at 3:30 AM...so he's really tired. I said I don't have to get up until 5AM, but that's plenty early enough for me!

"Well, getting up at that early hour has not hurt you any...you are still beautiful!" he said. "Thank you, how sweet," I replied. He smiled back at me and added, "Now don't go tellin' him I said that!" And who knows why...but I blurted it out, "No, I can't tell him...because my husband is dead!"

You should have seen his face. That poor man apologized profusely...and hurried to the back of the train. I'm sure he had no idea what to say next and took the easy way out by getting as far away from me as he possibly could. I sat there for the next ten minutes or so, struggling to choke back tears. My eyes filled up...but amazingly, I was able to contain myself. I just kept saying in my head..."Don't cry Luce, suck it up...people are staring at you and they will think you're a kook if you start crying!"

Somehow I managed to snap out of it...just as the train ground to a stop. I jumped up, stormed off the train, made my way up the escalater, and got back to work. But...the man's comment hung over me the rest of the day like a little dark cloud. It's amazing how a seemingly innocent compliment can go from sweet...to bitter in a moment.