What is Courage?

I’ve had a lot of people say I have courage. And it strikes me as puzzling. I can’t see it myself. I see determination, but not necessarily courage. So it’s something I think about a lot. What is courage? What is it really?

Yesterday when I was walking through the metro, I saw a guy strolling along tapping his white cane side to side in front of him. Yes, he was blind and he was walking through that bustling metro with only the sound of footsteps and his tap-tap-tapping to guide him. And I thought to myself…now THAT’S courage!!

I can’t imagine doing that! It would be so scary. I thought about it last night and I’ve thought about it more this morning as well. And really, the more I think about it…the more I wonder if courage might be quite different than we realize.

For me, the reasons so many people say I have courage, is simply because I responded to a tough situation and came up with solutions. Everything I’ve done, like finding a job that could provide insurance for Ken’s transplant, working hard to move up in my career so I could support our family…and all that… It was not really a matter of courage at all. It was a matter of necessity, a matter of survival. I didn’t see that I had a choice to do anything else.

What should I have done? Or could I have done? Sit around and feel sorry for myself? Become a financial burden to the rest of my family and my friends? To me, courage is what causes a person to run into a burning building to save another’s life. I didn’t have to do that. There’s a distinct difference.

Instead of having courage, I believe I have determination and perhaps a bit of pride. I simply didn’t want to become a burden to anyone. As it is, my family’s struggle changed the face of all of our lives, for me, my family and my friends. It was hard enough on everyone…and I didn’t want to make it any harder. In fact, I was compelled to make life as “normal” under the circumstances, as I possibly could, especially for the boys.

So I think it must be the same for other people who are faced with significant challenges…like those who are blind. Do they really have courage? Is that what allows them to maneuver through the busy and dangerous streets unseeing? Or is it necessity?

Could it be that they have no choice…they are determined to make a life for themselves and their families in spite of their circumstances. Instead they are guided through life by a sense of determination and pride? That’s what I think. It’s a matter of living. And most of us just keep on living in spite of our challenges.