Tonight, after our meeting, a bunch of us walked over to Little Italy for dinner. On the way, as we road down the elevator, I caught a glimpse of the Hopkins dome in the distant skyline. All I could think is, "There it is." It's the place that for so long had been our home away from home... Over the years Kenny and I had watched Hopkins build new hospital wings and add more and more buildings to the sprawling complex. We even watched a new parking garage go up...and years later be torn down. We saw so many changes there and in the surrounding neighborhoods. In fact, we watched as Camden Yards was built...and saw that entire area change as well. Eighteen years of driving in and out of this City...brought us an ever changing view of Baltimore.
And it feels odd to be so close to the one-year anniversary of Kenny's death...and yet feel happy. In fact, it makes me feel guilty in a way...like what is wrong with me? How can I possibly be so happy? But I am. And thankfully I know Ken would be relieved. I know he is rejoicing that I am finally doing better.
It's been a long, difficult year. The hardest one of my life. But things are looking up in a strange kind of way. That's not to say that Monday will NOT be difficult. Of course it will be, as it will for anyone who knew and loved my Kenny.
But, I am doing my best to stay on the upbeat about things. I know that's what Kenny would want. I can hear him saying, "Luce, it's OK, it's been so hard on you. I want you to be happy; you deserve to be happy." I know that's what Kenny would say.
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