My God...is it OK to say My God? I got a another message from Brad, my dear high school friend and he sent me several photos of his family and his darling Erin. She died one year ago today. I couldn't help but cry. I'm not sure when I've seen such a beautiful girl and I'm guessing if she had her father's spirit...well, what a loss. What a tremendous loss. I find myself wondering how people get through such an experience. But I know that Brad...back all those years ago in high school...had a solid faith in God, even while I was still questioning God's existence. I'm guessing his faith is what has seen him through. He still misses his beautiful daughter. Of course! And now...I miss her too!I can not wait to see this guy and meet his wife. I know I will want to steal away for hours and talk with them. We have so much of life to share.
I hope this photo of his beautiful Erin...reminds everyone to treat life as a precious gift, not to be wasted. Dear Lord, bless and comfort this grieving family today and always.
1 comment:
Thanks Lucy. Thank you for mentioning Erin on your blog. That's my girl. She was funny, kind and brilliant –a college salutatorian. She had a way of lighting up an entire room when she walked in and then also able to make people feel very special on an individual and personal basis. She had been married to Jason for a year and a half, they were living in Denver. Jason had finished a Master’s degree, had a good job and Erin was headed to law school. Erin was and still is a wonderful precious gift from God to us and to all who knew her.
For any of you who may be reading Lucy's blog and taking interest in this story, I want you to know where are hearts are following our tragic loss of Erin which happened at the start of our family vacation in July 2007. Perhaps this will encourage some of you and for others at least give you something to think about.
Her Mom, older sister, many friends and I love her and miss her like crazy and yes we hurt, hurt a lot. To give back a child to God is a hard and difficult thing to do. It will really test you.
A friend recently asked me what the loss of Erin has done to my faith. He asked: “Do you feel let down, abandoned or like maybe this God thing is just a big hoax?”
Great questions! Here's where I stand in my faith a year after Erin's death.
I believe faith is a choice. If anything becomes irrefutable, all proof established, then it is not faith. It is a fact. Faith is no longer required.
The impact of a child's death is enough to cause any parent to question and perhaps even walk away if your faith is in doubt. I was raised in a christian, God believing and church going family. I grew up taking a lot of religious assumptions for granted. An unchallenged faith and life is rarely a very strong faith.
I don’t believe God made the accident happen. I don’t believe He made or arranged the circumstances of Erin’s fatal injuries. I don’t believe He made Erin fall, so to speak, but I do believe He was there and continues to be present to pick us all up and give us a hope and even more, an assurance that Erin is just fine on the other side of this life.
I believe God loves me … and yet I hurt.
I believe God cares about me … and yet I hurt.
I believe God’s compassion and comfort are real and have been delivered to me by His spirit and His children (fellow believers) … and yet I hurt.
I believe that God rejoices in Erin’s coming home and likewise she is rejoicing being in His eternal presence … and yet I hurt.
I believe God is providing for her far, far better than I ever could as her Dad on this earth … and yet I hurt.
I believe that I am a whole lot more attached to life on this earth than God would want me to be … and that is in part why I hurt.
Just because I am a child of God’s doesn’t mean or imply that I am immune or bullet proof to the pain and the hurt of the death and loss of my girl. I don’t get a free pass. It does mean however that I have my God’s strength to draw on, His spirit, love, compassion and comfort to help me deal with it. Oddly enough, I’ve also come to the realization that how I feel, does not change who God is. God is God. He is Sovereign. I choose to believe that and the more I have thrown myself into God in regard to my loss of Erin, the more I believe that He is.
A lawyer friend of mine, older in years and wiser in life and faith sent me a note card which read:
“When you get it all said, He loves us.
Bet your life on it.
Stake your future on it.
Put everything you hold dear in His hands,
And relax and know that He means you good”.
There is a lot more I could try and share but I think that pretty well sums it up for now.
Thanks again Lucy. We love you and yours! –Brad
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