It's Been Nearly a Year...

It's been nearly a year since Kenny died and I find it hard to think about anything else...

I was talking with a new friend of mine tonight. I met Leslie two weeks ago...and she is a widow too. Her husband Bob died six months ago after a two and a half year battle with cancer. As I've learned from talking with Leslie and other widows...our experiences with grieving are much the same.

At six months, things are hitting Leslie harder now than ever before. The same happened with me. A few minutes ago we were sharing some moments and I was reminded of a story I had written one Friday morning, just three weeks after Kenny died.

I pulled the story up from my e-mail archives. I had sent it to friends that morning when I got to work. I just read it again and still think it's amazing. Even now, I can vividly relive the experience. So I decided to post it here on my blog. Leslie has had similar things happen just like this and the same as me, she knows they are not by chance.

Be sure to watch the two music clips at the end, from You Tube. They are the songs I heard on the radio that morning. I can imagine Kenny singing to me the words to that Bob Dylan song. It is as if he wrote it himself.

When you listen to the words of both, you will understand why I cried my way to work that morning.

Subject > 08/24/2007 08:43 AM Wow!

Good Morning dear friends!

I had a sleepless night. Last time I looked at the clock was 4AM...my alarm went off at 5. I got up feeling grim and I prayed for courage, strength and a positive attitude to face this day. I hurried to get ready, jumped into Ken's car to drive to work. Impulsively--- for the first time since he died--- I switched the radio dial. A song was just starting, one of Kenny's favorites, an old Rod Stewart song...Mandolin Wind. I said, "Wow, Ken's song," and smiled, "of course!"

He used to crank it up on the radio and sing it --LOUD and off key!!! Now I know why he loved that song. I had never really listened to the words before...until this morning...and my gosh. I blubbered all the way up Interstate 85.

I finally stopped crying and don't you know the very next song I heard was Bob Dylan's, Forever Young. Same thing, I had never listened to the words before. I started blubbering all over again. I'm sure Ken was guiding me to work this morning. And...I know he will continue to watch over me as I get through this grieving period.

Without really knowing the name of either song, it took me a while to find the lyrics...but here they are... And sorry if this makes you cry. I'm hanging in there as best as I can, one day at a time. Have a great weekend! Lucy